


The Greatest Showman

by DustinMcDreamy



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Arson, Asexual Character, Asexual Raphael Santiago, Closeted Character, Difficult Decisions, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mainly Saphael, Minor Violence, Musical, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Spoilers, Suicidal Thoughts, The Malec Song is Crack, side malec - Freeform, slight crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-02-24 13:11:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13214463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DustinMcDreamy/pseuds/DustinMcDreamy
Summary: Simon Lewis dreamt of a better life full of color, excitement, wonder, and sensation.  What he didn't dream, however, was love in the form of a beautiful mexican playwright who would enchant his heart. Simon can convince Americans of wild exaggerated tales of his circus friends, but can he convince Raphael Santiago that they have something real?





	1. A Million Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off of the theatrical musical "The Greatest Showman". A majority of the songs used are from the show, but I remixed some and added an original. I do not own any songs featured (aside from "The Malec Song"). Copyright for the TGS songs in their entirety goes to The Greatest Showman and Atlantic Recording Corporation. I highly recommend this musical!!! This will contain spoilers for the movie. I tried not to rip it off 100% and provide my own originality to this piece, but it will still heavily parallel. Words that are italicized are being sung. Listen to the album to follow along tot he tunes, or read them as normal dialogue.

     Simon Lewis stood in the middle of a large amphitheatre. The crowd was excited, cheering and clapping loudly when Simon Lewis emerged underneath the spotlight to announce his entourage.

     "Ladies and gents, this is the moment you've waited for!" Simon exclaimed. "You've been looking for it, searching for it, and it's right here waiting for ya! I present to you: The Simon Lewis Circus!"

     Performers wearing sparkling outfits made from every color of the rainbow rushed into view by somersaulting, flipping, or twirling to make their entrance. They jumped through hoops of fire or cascaded down from the ceiling, carried only by sheer, shimmering ribbons.

     " _You want to go where it's covered in all the colored lights,"_ Simon sang as a dazzling array of colored lights rotated and spun in a frenzy, shining upon the excited crowd members. " _Where the runaways are running the night. Impossibles come true, intoxicating you, OH!"_

THIS IS THE GREATEST SHOW!" the audience members cheered.

     " _It's everything you ever want, and it's everything you'd ever need, and it's right here in front of you, this is where you want to be!"_ Simon continued before running towards his entourage, grabbing their hands, twirling and dancing with them. He grabbed one of the girls and dipped her before bringing her back for a twirl. He took his top hat and threw it up with a spiral, allowing it to slice through the air like a hot knife through butter. A woman swinging upside down from a ring attached to a rope from the ceiling caught it before she dropped down to be caught by her castmates.

     " _It's everything you ever want-"_ the audience quieted down. " _It's everything you'd ever need-"_ the lights dimmed into darkness. 

     "And it's right here in front of you," a little boy, wearing only dirty rags and worn out shoes that were falling apart, sadly mumbled as he looked at the gorgeous bright red suit that was on display on the other side of the cold glass of the tailor shop.

     "Come on Simon, we need to get where we need to be," his father demanded.

     "Yes, father," Simon responded. He was ten years old, and his mother and older sister had both already passed away when he was younger from pneumonia. It was just he and his father now, struggling to afford food and the terrible rent of their measly shack. His father and him were on their way to the Morgenstern Estate. Simon's father was the family's personal tailor. It didn't pay incredibly well, but it was an income.

     Simon had befriended Valentine Morgenstern's daughter, Clarissa. They only talked in secret, though. Simon wasn't allowed to roam around the house, and Clarissa often had mandatory etiquette lessons to keep her days busy. Valentine wanted Simon far away from his daughter, although his wife Jocelyn would often allow it when she was getting tailored privately.

     Eventually, Valentine became more and more abusive. His business was failing and he was losing money. He started drinking more heavily, and began to beat Jocelyn. Around the same time, Simon's father got incredibly sick, and he passed away, leaving Simon orphaned. When Morgenstern was arrested for trying to embezzle as much of his failing organization's money as possible, Clarissa and Jocelyn were evicted from their mansion. With the small amount of money Jocelyn was allowed to save and got to keep as her own, she purchased a small apartment in the cheaper areas of downtown where the railways emitted smoke clouds for miles. They invited Simon to live with them instead of on the streets. 

     They were happy together, finally. Simon was slightly better off than what he was with his father, he got to live with his best friend, and he had a new parent. Jocelyn and Clary (now that she was no longer considered to be a part of high society) were happy that they felt like a family again, instead of hostages in their own home. But Simon still longed for more.

     "I'm going to get you two your old life back," Simon said, one night at dinner. 

     Jocelyn paused, caught off guard by the random announcement. She smiled at Simon's warm gesture, and slid her hand across their small table to hold his hand. "Simon, sweetie. We don't need our old life back. We have everything we need with this new one with each other, and you."

     "You've been so kind to me, you deserve better than this," Simon said.

     Jocelyn frowed a litte, making her expression bittersweet. "You know, Simon, I never told you this, but before Clary, I was pregnant with another child. All of my midwives said it was going to be a boy, and I was going to name him Jonathan Christopher."

     "What happened? Where is he?" Simon asked.

     "I had a miscarriage, which means he died in my stomach. I was devastated and broken. I was so terrified when I was pregnant with Clary, but the angels really blessed her, and with a miracle, she's here," Jocelyn said with a tear in her eye as she grabbed Clary's hand, holding both the kids' hands on each side of her. She turned back to Simon. "I get to have two children again, Simon, and there's no amount of money in the world that would be better than that."

     "That's even more reason you deserve the world, Jocelyn," Simon said. He closed his eyes and smiled. " _I close my eyes and I can see the world that's waiting up for me, that I call my own. Through the dark, through the door, through where no one's been before, but I call it home."_ He got up from his chair, and ran over to their sofa, and he grabbed the bright red blanket that hung on the top. He carried it over to a broken curtain rod that's been propped up in the corner for weeks that they've been meaning to replace, and he tied the blanket to the pole. " _They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy. They can say, they can say I've lost my mind. I don't care, I don't care, so call me crazy. We can live in a world that we design."_

     Once he attached the blanket, he danced around the open, empty space of their barren living area, swinging the pole around, the blanket waving around the air like a flag. Clary and Jocelyn started to laugh. " _Cause every night I lie in bed, the brightest colors fill my head. A million dreams are keeping me awake."_ Clary and Jocelyn rushed to get random items from their rooms. Clary came back wearing a towel as a cape, and Jocelyn had unraveled a ball of string into a complex and random wrapping going in multiple directions around her neck and arms like how a shawl should fit. 

     " _I think of what the world could be: a vision of the one I see. A million dreams is all it's gunna take. A million dreams for the world we're gunna make."_ Jocelyn and Clary laughed and she chased them around the living room, playing tag. As she grabbed a child, she would lift them up and spin them around, making everyone smile and cheer. 

     As Simon grew older, he perfected his tailoring craft. He was tailoring new suits for the wealthiest clients, and Clarissa and Jocelyn taught etiquette in similar neighborhoods. At the end of the day, they would come home tired, collapsing into each other's arms, embracing warm hugs, and counting their wages together. Simon took out a notepad and began sketching what looked like a mansion.

     " _There's a house we can build, every room inside is filled with things from far away,"_ Simon sang.

 _"The special things we compile, each one there to make us smile on a long, hard day,"_ Clary joined in.

     Simon and Clary laughed and ran off to their room, Jocelyn looking happy for them, but looking melancholy at Simon's drawing.

     " _What can I say at what they say? It all sounds crazy. I'm fairly certain my children lost their minds. If they're gunna make it, they can't be lazy. I hope they make it to the world that they design,"_   Jocelyn sang. " _Because every night I lie in bed, my greatest worries fill my head, a million fears are keeping me awake. I think of how the world is now, to make their vision I'm not sure how, but a million dreams is what it's going to take. A million dreams for the world they want to make."_

Simon eventually made a positive connection to a wealthy man who was amazed by Simon's ability with tailoring numbers and doing mathematics inside his head. He offered Simon a position at his firm, crunching numbers and filling out forms. It was dull, repetitive, and not as fun as tailoring but the pay was slightly better. That was, until, the company said all of their trading ships were damaged in a storm, along with their cargo. There were no more opportunities for the company to proceed, and everyone was being laid off. As Simon packed up his belongings, he realized the business's ship registry and documents were left on his desk. He slyly placed them in his case and headed out. 

     Within two days, he was wearing his nicest suit, waiting in a bank lobby waiting for a meeting with the banking manager, who would hear his case for a loan. He was in the middle of imagining his dream when the noise of the opening door startled him. 

     "Come on, Maia. This was a waste of time. You need collateral and the proper skin color for a life saving surgery, I suppose," a tall, black man in a nice suit said as he left, looking upset. A woman in an incredibly modest cloth gown covering nearly every inch of her body stood up and followed him.

     "It's not life-saving, Dad. I'm fine, you're just embarrassed by me," she said, covered by the cloth. Simon got a brief glimpse of her hand as it fell to her side, and a lot of long hair emerged from the sleeve. Simon raised his eyebrow before he was caught off guard by the sound of his name being summoned. He entered the room, had a seat in front of the manager, and sat up straight, looking as professional as possible.

     "This is an outlandish proposal," the manager said.

     "There is a financial demand for more leisure and entertainment opportunities. People are obsessed with the abstract, grotesque, and macabre. That is why we get a rush looking at someone who broke a bone, or hear unfortunate news. This is a very popular trend in Europe right now. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, sir," Simon advised.

     "The bank will need substantial collateral for if and when this.....museum of yours falters," the manager said.

     "Of course," Simon said, opening his briefcase. "Here is my registry of ships I currently use for trading."

     "Trading ships? Why would you gamble that with....this?" the bank manager asked.

     "Everything has been explored, except for this," Simon replied.

     The bank manager looked pensive at the paper. " _Your plan is strange, but you've got gall. Our bank will finance it all. Sign this form for me. You might be right, you might be wrong, for your sake I hope your plan goes along or your ships will belong to me."_ Simon signed the papers and shook the manager's hand.

     Simon ran down the street holding Clary and Jocelyn's hands. "Slow down, Simon!" Jocelyn begged.

     "You're going to be amazed, Jocelyn!" Simon exclaimed excitedly.

     "How did you get a loan for that much money?" Clary asked.

     "I stole a ship registry from work. Their banks are somewhere in the ocean!" Simon exclaimed.

     "Which ocean?" Clary asked.

     "I don't remember! I don't care!" Simon exclaimed. The three of them laughed as they approached a giant building that read 'The Simon Lewis Museum of Fascinations'. They headed inside and Simon smiled greatly at all of the exhibits he had. He had a guillotine decapitating Marie Antoinette, replicas of foreign animals, wax figures of Attila the Hun and other figures. He spun around to see Jocelyn and Clary's faces, but was disappointed at their lackluster expressions.

     "You don't like it?" He asked.

     "It's...." Jocelyn started to say.

     "Boring," Clary said. "They pay to look at some wax figurines?"

     "They're very popular in Europe, and it's almost as good as seeing the real thing!" Simon said.

     "There's nothing interactive. They just come by, look at everything once, and leave?" Clary said.

     "And read the inscriptions!" Simon argued.

     "Dude, that's terrible. Simon, you blew too much on this," she said.

     "Clary!" Jocelyn ordered.

     "No, Simon's going to listen to me on this one. Our dreams were supposed to be made together. You need something alive, something live action. You always said you loved musicians, and theatre, and you would always perform for mom and me. You take out these....things, make this a performing area. You take that wall down, expand, install viewing areas," Clary ordered.

     "I've already blown through enough of the money. The rest I have saved I wanted to use for more exhibits to rotate them out," Simon defended.

     "You have one week. If this measly museum gets money, it can stay. But, if you don't get the attendance, we do it my way," Clary ordered.

     "Deal," Simon said. "They're going to love this."

     Sure enough, they did not. A journalist came to take their photo for the opening, and wrote an editorial about it. However, the free press did not work in their favor. Simon, Jocelyn, and Clary all worked actively to hand out flyers, but few were interested. Less than a handful of people bought tickets and they did not walk out impressed.

     "Fine, we'll do it your way. To an extent," Simon said, one week later.

     "To an extent?" Clary asked.

     "What would the performances be?" Simon asked.

     "Uhm," Clary responded. "Some kind of dance, with singing?" 

     "I should host musicals?" Simon asked, with an arched eyebrow.

     "Not what I had in mind," she responded.

     "Ballet? Orchestra?" Simon asked.

     "No, no," she replied.

     "A nightclub?" Simon asked.

     "Let me think on that one," she replied.

     "You have nothing," Simon said.

     "And you do?" she asked.

     "I do, in fact," Simon said with a smile. "I have a backup plan."

     


	2. Come Alive

     Simon was dressed nicely to make a positive impression. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves for the interaction he was about to have. He only had one chance to make this succeed. He walked up the house and knocked on the door. He took one more deep breath before a tall dark man opened the door.

     "Hello, are you Mr. Luke Garroway?" Simon asked.

     "That depends, who is asking?" Luke responded.

     "My name is Simon Lewis. I'm here to speak to your daughter," Simon replied.

     "I don't have a daughter," the man responded.

     "That's not what the hospital records say. Maia Roberts, born to Luke Garroway and Alisha Garroway," Simon replied. "Why change the name? Where is Mrs. Garroway?"

     "If you've come here to make fun or or hurt my daughter, I swear to god, I don't care what I'll face as a black man assaulting a white man, I will do it," Luke threatened.

     "I am not here to make fun of or hurt her," Simon replied. "May I please speak with her?"

     Luke growled and stepped aside so that Simon could enter. He followed the noise of a beautiful singing voice all the way to a closed bedroom door. He knocked politely, cutting off the singing.

     "Dad?" the woman on the other side asked.

     "No, my name is Simon Lewis. You have a wonderful voice. I was wondering if you'd like a job to perform in a show," Simon answered.

     "I'm afraid that isn't going to be possible," she replied.

     "Miss Roberts, do not be afraid. No matter how you look, I will not laugh, I will not mock. I am here because there are a lot of people in a similar circumstance as you. They hide and are afraid to be seen, but they deserve a platform. They deserve the limelight! It's scary, yes, and I cannot promise that it will go smoothly, but there is a star in you. That voice will inspire those like you and it will earn the respect of the simple minded common people. People will initially come to see you for what you and the others appear to be on the outside, but I guarantee when they leave, they will leave better people having the chance to see the inside of you. Help me help others be respected for possibly the first time in their lives."

     The door opened, and Simon looked. He gasped faintly, but he was not scared. As promised, he did not laugh. Maia was covered in brown curls all over her face, neck, arms, legs, and seemingly her whole body. 

     "I look like a dog," Maia said. "Still want me in your show?"

     "Absolutely," Simon said. "Anyone who can sing the way you do can look like whatever."

     "Maia," Luke interjected. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

     "I think you're a fraud, Mr. Lewis. I don't think for a second this will work," Maia replied.

     Simon's smile shattered. This was his one opportunity to save everything. "So you won't come?"

     "I never said that," Maia replied. "If there are others like me, then I will stand by them to get them the respect they deserve."

     Simon's smile grew back, and it grew wide. "We have a lot of work to do!"

     Simon, Clary, Jocelyn, Luke, and Maia began to make hundreds of flyers that read 'Unique Persons wanted! Individuals of all aesthetics, talents, skills, or cosmetics encouraged to apply at the Simon Lewis Museum of Fascinations'. They went into town to nail them to every possible community post, wall, or forum possible. A week later, when the date on the advertisement came, the lobby of the museum was full. Simon looked out into the crowd as dozens of individuals who looked strange and intriguing. His heart raced at the possibilities that were in store. Maia shed a tear, for this was the first time she hadn't felt alone in this world. While she wasn't the same as any individual in the lobby, she felt a connection she had never experienced in her life.

     "Hello, everybody! Thank you all for coming!" Simon exclaimed. "My name is Simon Lewis! I will be conducting all of the interviews with my new friend-"

     "Acquaintance," Maia interrupted.

     "Maia Roberts!" Simon finished.

     "And what exactly are we supposed to doing?" a man with thick eyeliner asked.

     Simon smiled proudly and confidently as he began to descend the spiral staircase. " _Come alive. Come alive. Go and ride your light. Let it burn so bright. Reach on up to the sky, it's open wide and you're electrified. Let's make this world become a fantasy, and become more than you could ever be and start dreaming with your eyes wide open."_ He reached the floor and started combing through the crowd shaking everyone's hands. " _I'm sure you don't want to go back in again to the world that you've been living in, let's start dreaming with our eyes wide open. Let's come alive!"_

     Simon, Clary, and Maia had a chair on one end of a table, and the candidates sat on the other side. The first girl was a woman with patches of green scaled skin on her arms, legs, and throat. She had long black hair and was very gorgeous. She wore a very form fitting dress, and had a pet snake around the back of her neck.

     "Hello, miss. What is your name?" Simon asked.

     "Isssabelle," the woman said.

     "Do you have any hidden talents?" Simon asked.

     "I can hypnotissse men, but not women, usssually," she said.

     "Let's see something, nothing crazy though," Simon requested.

     Isabelle flipped her hair behind her head and cleared her throat. "On the count of three, you will give me a round of applaussssse. One. Two. Three," she said. Simon just sat there, waiting to feel something, but nothing occured. 

     "I guess it didn't-"

     There was clapping to Simon's left. As he turned, he saw Clary smiling and clapping her hands vigorously.

     "Oh my gosh!" Clary exclaimed. "I thought you said it worked on men and not women."

     Isabelle's eyebrow arched. "Well I guess we're all learning so much about each other," she said. "You may stop."

     Clary's hands went back to her sides and she smiled. "You should hire her."

     "I think I will. I see it now: The Seductive Serpentess," Simon said.

     "It'ssss a mouthful," Isabelle said. "I like it." She winked at Simon before standing up and walking away.

     "Next!" Maia called out.

     Two dudes wearing extravagant suits and heavy mascara approached and sat down.

     "You're the heckler," Simon noted.

     "Yes, you may call me Magnus," the gentleman said. "The man here is my boyfriend, Alec." Alec did a short, single motion wave nonchalantly towards Simon. Simon's heart fluttered being in the presence of two males who were together. 

     "What do you two do together?" Simon asked. "Professionally. Act wise. Talents. Talents that can be performed on stage. Appropriately. Not that I think anything you two do would be inappropriate, I just, let me start over."

     "Jesus," Alec muttered.

     "It's quite alright, Simon, I can tell you're not homophobic. In fact, I would assume quite the opposite." Simon felt himself blush severely. "Alexander and I do trapeze and aerial stunts."

     "Magnus the Magnificent and Alec the Acrobat!" Simon exclaimed.

     "What on Earth is an acrobat?" Alec asked.

     "Something we're going to invent. Be thankful you're not a Bruce or something because I would have called you 'Bruce the Batman'," Simon replied.

     "That sounds catchy for something, I'm just not sure what quite for yet," Magnus replied. 

     "You can head over to Jocelyn for paperwork. Next performer?" Simon asked. Magnus and Alec stepped away as a shirtless guy with long, messy blonde hair with a lot of tattoos approached. Maia and Clary both perked up as he approached.

     "Hello! What's your name?" Clary asked cheerfully, despite saying she didn't want to sit through these interviews less than an hour ago.

     "My name is Jace. I'm very strong, plus I have a lot of tattoos that people might find.....intriguing," Jace said with emphasis on the last word.

     "I see it," Clary and Maia both said in unison. Simon shook his head.

     "Anyways," Simon said, dragging out the word for dramatics. "How strong is strong?"

     Jace picked up the metal chair in front of him and began to bend it in half, without barely any sign of struggle on his facial expression. All of their jaws dropped.

     "I believe we have just met the strongest man in the world!" Simon exclaimed.

     Jace nickered confidently. "I like that title."

     "Welcome to the greatest show on Earth," Simon replied.

     They recruited numerous more: dancing twins that Simon would make people believe were conjoined, a pale woman, a giant man, a non-binary dancer, the heaviest man in the world. Simon plastered their faces and new titles on milk bottles, posters, and anything he could to advertise them throughout the town. On opening day, the crowd waiting outside was enormous. Jocelyn was selling tickets in the box office as fast as she could. She reached for the roll on her left, and immediately couldn't feel it. She turned her head and looked around her office table. There were no more tickets remaining. She beamed with happiness as she grabbed a piece of paper and wrote 'SOLD OUT' in large font and attached it to her window.

     "I'm sorry everybody, we'll have more performances tomorrow!" she exclaimed.

     Meanwhile, inside, everyone was getting dressed up in their extravagant outfits, trying to calm their nerves.

     "Are we ready for this? We haven't had a whole lot of time to rehearse and-"

     "Maia, you're all going to do wonderful!" Simon exclaimed. "You're all incredibly talented. This is your shot to make the world proud! No more living in the shadows in fear! It's time to amaze them!"

     The roaring of the audience getting ready in their seats could be heard from backstage. Clary's mouth opened wide from the sheer shock.

     "Is that a full house? How many people are out there!?" she asked.

     "Oh my god, I don't know if I can do this," Maia responded.

     "Yes, you can. Your father is out there. Just pretend like you're singing for him, just him, like you always have," Simon said. " _I see it in your eyes. You believe that lie: that you need to hide your face. Afraid to step outside, so you lock the door, but you don't you stay that way!"_

Simon rushed over to the ropes and began pulling. "It's showtime!"

     The cast members took a deep breath before marching into the stage to music, dancing their choreography. The audiences members gasped at their appearances initially, but were drawn into the performance.

     " _No more living in the shadows because you and me we know how that goes,"_ Maia sang.

     " _Because once you see it, oh you'll never be the same,"_ Jace sang as he lifted Maia up with a single arm around her waist, spinning her around.

     " _We'll be the light that's shining, bottle up and keep on trying you can prove there's more to you!_   _You cannot be afraid!_ "the two of them sang in unison. Magnus and Alec swung from trapeze attached to the ceiling from opposite ends. Alec launched himself off of his swing towards Magnus's. As Magnus was ready to catch him, he pulled his arms back, letting Alec fall. The audience gasped in fear, watching Alec fall down.  Jace lowered Maia, still holding her, and lifted his other hand up, palm upwards. Alec landed perfectly on Jace's open hand, neither of them flinching. The audience roared with excitement as Alec bowed and hopped down onto the ground

     All of the cast members on the ground got into formation and began to sing and dance in unison. " _Come alive, come alive, go and ride your light, let it burn so bright! Reach on up to the sky, and it's open wide, you're electrified! When the world becomes your fantasy, you become more than you could ever be, cuz you've starting dreaming with your eyes wide open. And we know we won't go back again to the world that we've been living in cuz we're dreaming with our eyes wide open! Come alive!"_

The audience stood up to applaud, and Simon and Clary were in the back hugging each other tightly. "We did it!" Simon exclaimed. "It's a success!"

     "Let's do something to celebrate! We have a whole lot of money to spend!" Clary exclaimed.

     "Let's see a show, like one of those fancy plays," Simon responded.

     "I would like that," Clary said. Simon smiled as he headed back to the curtain to peek on stage. The audience was responding positively to the show, and the cast members looked genuinely happy. They had truly come alive, and had broken free from out of their shells. They were no longer afraid to be who they were, and a bittersweet feeling inside of Simon emerged. When would he be able to follow by their example? 

 


	3. The Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This lengthy chapter features a filler in the form of a long-ish play about an asexual homoromantic in high society, written by Raphael Santiago, that is supposed to partially reflect Raphael's own insecurities. It fuels his initial conversation with Simon, and serves as context and insight to Raphael's character over the course of the remaining chapters. If you would like to skip it since the play does not involve any SH characters, just scroll down to where you see the horizontal lines.

     Simon, Clary, and Jocelyn all bought new clothes with some of their making for the day, and we headed to the theatre to celebrate. The looked around at the wealthy individuals who were attending, and while they knew they were out of place inside, they were blending in just fine.

     They sat down in their seats. They were high up, and a little far, but they didn't care. They were about to experience something they've always dreamed about seeing a play in person. The curtains rose, and the audience hushed. There was a lead actor standing on the stage in the gas fueled spotlights.

     "As a young man, I had always realized that my heart was different than everyone else," the lead actor monologues. "My parents had the type of love that anybody would have died for. In upper class, so often did we marry for politics or money, that true love like this seemed rare. Yet, they had it, and many were envious of it. It was the sort of love that would inspire their children that true love was real and happily ever after was possible. I, however, was not so inspired."

     Beautiful women in beautiful dresses walked across the stage as a backdrop of a beautiful city slowly cascaded down into view, bringing life to the actor monologue. "I had met many beautiful women, wealthy women, but my heart was not attached to any of them. I didn't develop any boyhood crushes in adolescence, and the carnal desire of flesh had never consumed me." The women circled him, reaching their hands out to touch him. "I was content with this fact. Remaining undistracted, I excelled in my work when I entered my father's company. All of the other men boasted about their affairs and their conquests as they drank the finest scotch and smoked the richest cigars, but I felt nothing but pity for these men."

     The actor broke free of the circling women and passed by several male actor in suits, carrying bottles of alcohol. One woman from the circle paired up with each man and they walked off the stage. "These men were so empty and unsatisfied with the love that they settled for, that they kept pursuing, and I realized I wasn't missing out on much. My parents, however, thought differently."

     The city backdrop was replaced with one that looked more like an exquisite home. A sofa lounge was pulled onto the stage, presumably with hidden wheels and ultra-thin wire to avoid being seen, but it carried one exquisitely dressed man and woman who were posed comfortably, holding one another amorously. When they were centered in the stage, they stood up from the sofa and approached the actor.

     "Castro, my son, when are you going to find a suitable wife? I need the gift of grandchildren," the mother said.

     "And I need the gift of an heir to inherit this company," the father said. "Plus, a man feels even more powerful plowing his seed into a garden than running a company."

     "Don't be so vulgar!" the mother exclaimed before she turned back to Castro. "I just want you to be happy, my son. Happy like your father and I."

     "I am happy, mother," Castro insisted.

     "How can you be happy without a wife?" the mother asked. The father looked like he was about to respond, but the mother quickly turned to him. "Don't you dare say another word."

     The actor walked away from his parents, and they went back to their sofa to pose lovingly before being wheeled off of the stage.

     "They couldn't understand why I didn't feel they way others do. To others, they might assume I was broken, but I would say the opposite. I already felt whole on my own, and I didn't need anybody else to complete me. So you tell me, who exactly is the one that's broken?"

      The stage began to swarm with business men in suits, holding books, files, and papers. "Work was my passion. My grandfather was a successful trader, and taught his son, my father, and then I was taught as well. I met many fascinating people, all of which had exciting stories and backgrounds. I was never lonely, because I had others, but I just didn't need romance or sex from them. But my Board of Directors was being rather persistent."

     An office worker brought Castro's actor a wooden chair, and six men carrying chairs emerged on the stage. They placed the chairs down, and all sat. While all seven of them were portrayed as looking at each other, they were angled towards the audience: the six men on the right of the stage, and Castro on the left.

     "Castro, your bachelor lifestyle is affecting the business's public reputation," said board member one.

     "I am not living a bachelor lifestyle or any lifestyle that would appear to be indecent," Castro argued.

     "Our clients want to see a religious man, a family man," said board member two.

     "Religion is very important to me, and my parents are my world. I am here today because of my love for them, and their love for me," Castro replied.

     "They want to see a leader who is married with a wife and child. An American family that reflects their ideals," said board member three.

     "That doesn't make much sense since we do international trading. Shouldn't I appear to be less American?" Castro asked.

     "Don't get smart, Castro," said board member four. "You need to serve your client's interests."

     "Or am I serving your interests? I think you're worried about the American investors. More investors means more money lining up your own pockets," Castro replied.

     "We assure you, Mr. Castro, we are only interested in your best interests. Which is why we would like to remind you that we have the power to remove you if you stray too far from the company's mission, interests, agenda, and or image," said board member number five.

     "Is this a coup?" Castro asked.

     "You have nine months to be married," said board member number six.

     The board members stood up, grabbed their chairs, and walked off the stage. Another businessman grabbed Castro's and escorted it off. Castro paced left and right across the stage for his next monologue. "I was in a bit of a dilemma, but I would make the best of it. I would do my duty for my parents, and for my organization. The only problem was finding the proper wife, the sort of wife that all men coveted and desired, a bride who would fulfil every male fantasy. He paused, center of the stage, and looked directly at the audience. "I needed a wife who would leave me alone."

     Simon, Clary, Jocelyn, and the rest of the audience laughed as more beautiful women, and the two parents came onto the stage. "My parents began to pull all of their strings and became mass recruiters and matchmakers. I met with dozens and dozens of women, and I interviewed them all." He turned away from the audience and towards one woman. "Miss, what does family and honor and duty and class mean to you?"

     "It is my duty to make my husband a happy home, and to uphold his family name. If it were to be tarnished, it would be devastating. I want to keep the Castro name respected and treasured," the woman said.

     "And I believe you," Castro replied. "NEXT!" Castro stepped away from the woman and the set of women switched out with a new set. "I didn't think that there was any hope for this predicament until I met Paige." 

     Castro approached a pretty brunette and grabbed her hand. "My name is Castro." She curtseyed as he introduced himself. "My name is Paige, Paige Banks."

     "Miss Paige Banks, what does family, honor, duty, and class mean to you?" Castro asked.

     "Mr. Castro, that is the most ridiculous, pretentious question I have ever heard. Of course I'll do my duty for my family, that's why I'm here. They want to marry me off, but I don't care. A woman's duty is to herself, and then her husband, and if she does it smart enough, the husband won't know the difference. I have a duty to myself, Mr. Castro, and settling down right now isn't my goal. If my parents ask, do me a favor and tell them I was a wonderful candidate, as I am doing you the favor and letting you know that this couldn't possibly work. But, if my parents find out and they lose their honor, I don't care. It isn't mine, I'm seeking my own happiness."

     Paige began to step away when Castro grabbed her hand. As she turned around, he got on one knee. "I offer you a proposal. Not only a marriage proposal, but an alternative marriage proposal. I don't want anything to do with you romantically or sexually. We each get married to please our parents. We hire whatever attractive live-in staff member you want so you have your needs met. I don't get fired from my company, and we act loving in public and nobody knows the wiser. I beg of you, Paige Banks, make me the happiest man in the world and say you'll marry me."

     "You're joking, right?" Paige asked.

     "I have never been more serious. You are the one, and I will never find another woman like you," Castro begged.

     Paige looked to make sure nobody was around her and she knelt down to whisper in his ear. "And you're saying I can choose the live-in staff for my sexual needs under our joint, married roof?"

     "Absolutely," Castro said.

     "I do, Mr. Castro, I do!" Paige said. "I will marry you!"

     Castro approached the center of the stage as Paige transformed her dress into a bridal gown with a tearaway trick. "We were married within a month, and we spent our wedding night in separate rooms. Shortly after, we began interviewing for our unique butler position. It was tough because most of our applicants were older men who were actual seasoned butlers. But that all changed once we met Alberto. My wife nudged me, signaling that he was the one for her. So, I had to interview him."

     Alberto walked on stage in a nice suit and stood across from Castro. "Mr. Alberto, do you clean well?"

     "Yes, sir," he replied.

     "And can you cook a variety of gourmet meals?" Castro asked.

     "Why, yes, sir. My mother taught me everything I know," he said.

     "Well, so do we. This is not a normal butler position. You'll me mostly servicing my wife with whatever she requests. Specifically: whatever. I need your discretion, Alberto. My wife has needs that a woman needs from her husband that I am not willing to provide, and that will be one of your additional responsibilities. Am I being too subtle, Mr. Alberto?" Castro asked.

     "I'm afraid you are, sir," Alberto said. Castro approached Alberto and whispered into his ear.

     "You cannot be serious," Alberto said.

     "Oh, the proposition is very serious. Room and board, food, generous pay, all you have to do is one little side responsibility," Mrs. Castro said. "Will you join us? We need a person like you."

     "What do you gain from this, Mr. Castro?" Alberto asked.

     "A happy wife is a happy life. Our marriage is one of convenience. This was the deal for her hand in marriage, and having a wife helped me keep my job. So please, Mr. Alberto, make my wife happy," Castro said.

     "I'm in," Alberto said.

     Alberto and Paige ran off the stage as Castro approached the center again. "Things ran rather smoothly. The house was clean, meals were prepped, I focused on work, and my wife was satisfied. Things progressed in all of our relationships with each other."

     Alberto came back on stage with two glasses of scotch for him and Castro.

     "Thank you for having a drink with me, Alberto. I feel I never get to see much of you," Castro said.

     "Well, sir, you're a very busy man," Alberto replied.

     "And you are busy as well," Castro added.

     "Uhm," Alberto said nervously. "I wouldn't say, I wouldn't phrase it that-"

     "Alberto, why are you so nervous in my presence?" Castro asked.

     "I am sleeping with your wife. I have made you a cuckold in your own home," Alberto emphasised.

     "I am well aware, I thought of the arrangement. Don't tell me you're guilty about it," Castro said.

     "I am very guilty. Are you a religious man, Mr. Castro?" Alberto asked.

     "Very much so," Castro said.

     "How can we do what we are doing with God knowing what we are up to?" Alberto asked.

     "Well, I will cross that bridge when I come to it, but let me tell you something. My wife and I have never felt happier with our lives. The pressure is off the both of us, we are free from the bonds society has placed on us. You brought us that freedom!" Castro claimed.

     "I am your wife's lover. What does that make us?" Alberto asked.

     "Well, Alberto," Castro said. "I'd like to think that makes us family."

     "Family," Alberto said. "I like the sound of that." The clunk their glasses together as Paige came out to them.

     "Boys, I'm late," she announced.

     "Late to what?" Castro asked.

     "I. Am. Late." she repeated.

     "Oh!" Castro exclaimed.

     "What do we do about this situation? I'm having a baby out of wedlock from an affair with the help that my husband is consenting to. People don't react to that very well," Paige exclaimed.

     "Well, we're the only ones who know that's the truth. We present the baby as mine in public, and you two raise the baby here at home as you see fit," Castro said.

     "No," Alberto replied. "Mr. Castro, I know why you hired me. I know your heart doesn't work like ours, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't have a child to love as your own. You said we are family. This baby would not be possible without you. You are just as much a parent as us. Raise it together with us, the three of us parents."

     "You would want me to have a role in your baby's life?" Castro asked.

     "It's our baby," Alberto said.

     "Then lets raise a family," Castro said. Paige and Alberto walked off the stage. Castro went back to his monologue position on the stage. "As Paige got more and more pregnant, she got sicker and sicker. She wasn't in the mood as much, so Alberto had more free time, and I took some time to work from home to help build a nursery for our child. Alberto and I spent a lot of time together, just the two of us.

     Alberto came back on stage with two halves of a crib. Castro walked over to him and the pieces. "You're very good with your hands, Alberto. Where did you learn such exquisite craftsmanship?" 

     "From my father. He was a carpenter. He loved using his hands to build something for other people," Alberto said.

     "He sounds like Jesus," Castro replied.

     Alberto chuckled. "Yes, maybe he was. He was always kind, warm, and generous to others. Those are the traits I hope our child gets. What about you, Castro? What was your father like?"

     Castro set the tools down and approached Alberto. Alberto paused his work as well to give Castro his attention. "He ran a business. He used his wealth to hire others to do the work for him. He was cold and distant to me. Warm and loving to my mother, but not to me. I'm afraid I didn't inherit anything from him, and I have nothing to pass down to our child."

     "That is a lie, Mr. Castro. I see a million positive traits within you. You are selfless and devoted and passionate. This baby is lucky to be a Castro," Alberto said. The two of them were standing closer than they were.

     "Alberto," Castro said, placing a hand on the other man's chest. "I-"

     Paige dashed onto the stage with a full looking belly. "The baby's coming now!"

     "Get the doctor!" Castro exclaimed, breaking free from Alberto. "I'll stay here with Paige." Alberto dashed off of the stage and Castro held Paige.

     "Keep breathing, everything is going to be alright," Castro reassured. 

     Stagehands entered the stage with a bed on wheels as Alberto and the doctor reemerged on the stage. Paige climbed into the bed and the doctor stood next to her.

     "Gentlemen, you don't want to be in attendance for this. I'll be back after the delivery," the doctor said as he wheeled her away, leaving Castro and Alberto alone together. Castro brought in Alberto for a hug and they held each other tight.

     "We're going to be fathers," Alberto said.

     "I'm so scared," Castro said.

     "Why is that?" Alberto said, pulling away to look at Castro's face, but still holding one another.

     "What if I am not made out for this?" Castro asked. "It's yours and Paige's. I shouldn't ruin this child."

     "This child's life will be so much better having you in it. You make the world better, Castro. You changed Paige's life, and you've changed mine. Both for the better," Alberto said.

     "How do I have any effect on the world?" Castro asked.

     "You love differently. And because you love differently, you've been completely authentic. You've done wonders to your father's company, you've brought happiness to Paige and I," Alberto insisted.

     Castro looked deeply at Alberto's eyes. "You've brought me happiness, Alberto." Castro grabbed the sides of Alberto's arms in a distant, chaste embrace which was interrupted by the doctor emerging on stage.

     "What's the news, doctor? Is it a boy or a girl? How is Paige? Can we see her?" Castro asked.

     "I think your butler should leave the room, Mr. Castro for this conversation," the doctor said.

     "No. Alberto will stay. What's happening?" Castro asked.

     "Sir, I really don't think-"

     "Alberto is family. Anything you can say in front of me can be said to him," Castro demanded.

     "You must be very close," the doctor said. "He may have been close to your wife, too. Your daughter resembles his skin tone more than yours, Mr. Castro. God passed his judgement. Your daughter had the umbilical cord around her neck when she came out. She didn't make it."

     "I must talk to Paige," Castro said as a stagehand wheeled in Paige's bed. She looked much paler and fatigued.

     "I'm afraid that whatever you say must be said quickly. Delivery took its toll on her. I'm sorry, Mr. Castro," the doctor said.

     Castro and Alberto each approached one of Paige's sides.

     "Paige, I am so so sorry I brought you into this mess," Castro said.

     "Castro, worry not. The last year has been the happiest year of my life. I have never felt so free and full of joy and life. I'm sorry about the baby. You would have been an excellent father. She would have loved you," Paige said.

     "Don't talk as if you're going away, Paige," Castro said. 

     Paige turned to Alberto. "Alberto, thank you for making my life exciting. I'm sorry I brought you into this heartache. I'm sorry about our daughter."

     "You brought me love, Paige," Alberto said. "You are the finest woman I've known."

     "I'm going to close my eyes now," she whispered. Castro placed a kiss on her forehead as Alberto kissed her hand. The two stepped away and the doctor wheeled Paige and her bed off stage. 

     "I was so unprepared for all of the losses. My wife, Alberto's daughter. I couldn't possibly face anymore, and yet I did," Castro said to the audience. A stagehand carried two bags to Alberto, and Alberto grabbed them and began to exit right.

     "Alberto, where are you going?" Castro asked.

     "I was hired to fulfil Mrs. Castro's needs. Now she is not here and there is no more for me to do," Alberto said.

     "That's not true, Alberto, I need you. We are family," Castro argued.

     "This was the house I fell in love with your wife, and this is the house where I found out I helped create human life. Now those parts of my heart are gone, and now all I see in this house is a graveyard of what I used to love," Alberto said.

     "Surely there must be something I can say to get you to stay with me. Surely you must love something else in this house," Castro begged.

     "There is something you can say, Mr. Castro. If you tell me honestly, I will stay. What did you love in this house?" Alberto asked.

     "I loved you," Castro said, and as Alberto took a step forward, Castro interrupted himself. "And my wife."

     "Me and your wife?" Alberto asked, emphasizing the second word.

     "Yes, the both of you. Together," Castro said.

     Alberto sighed. "Goodbye, Mr. Castro." Alberto walked off the stage with his bags. The lights illuminating the backdrop dimmed, revealing only darkness.

     "I had always loved incorrectly. I always knew that I was broken. I thought finding others who were broken like me, and loved differently in different ways than me would somehow make it worthwhile, and make us happy, but all I did was break them too. Now here I am, alone again, without a wife, without a daughter, without a friend. I am in the same position I was a little over a year ago, but now my heart is colder and emptier because I did know love, for a moment, but incorrectly. And if I had just shared, and been open, and I didn't try to hide around in secret, they'd all still be here. I could have gotten Paige to a public hospital, but I kept her and Alberto hidden. I kept the truth from Alberto and he left. I was so afraid of the shame of society that I let it kill the best parts of me. I chose selfishly, and now I paid the price. At least I love my work," Castro said. Dozens of businessmen crossed from both sides of the stage as they walked across, and Castro disappeared with them, leaving only an empty stage.

* * *

* * *

* * *

 

 

     Jocelyn, Simon, and Clary clapped along with the audience members and then they made their exit.

     "I wish that play ended happier for you kids. You deserve to see happy endings," Jocelyn commented.

     "That's the best part about tragedies, though. You learn how to love more, live more fully, and you grow empathy," Simon replied.

     "What a morally perverse family," one woman nearby said to her husband.

     "That sort of camaraderie with the help is ridiculous," her husband said.

     "Usually," SImon said, slightly hurt by their offensive words. They made it outside and headed down the steps. "I'm going to stop by the office, first. Head home without me."

     "Don't be out too late," Jocelyn said. Simon headed off in a different direction and passed a man on a bench, who whistled to signal his attention as he passed by.

     "Excuse me, sir," the man said. "Do you have a match?" Simon approached and fished a matchbox from his pocket and helped the man light his cigar. "Thank you, sir. Tell me, did you like the production?"

     "I did, indeed. It was so heartbreaking. They deserved their happiest lives together. Poor Castro, feeling so alone and empty all those years, and he finally finds it in Alberto, but is so afraid that he loses it all? He doesn't deserve that treatment."

     The man laughed. "You are too noble. Tell me, what is your name?"

     "Lewis. Simon Lewis," Simon replied.

     "The man who runs the strange human museum?" the man asked.

     "It's the Museum of Fascinations" SImon corrected. "You've heard of it?"

     "I can't go anywhere without seeing your advertisements, posters. You're on my milk," the man replied.

     "You should come then," Simon replied.

     "Oh no, I could never," the man scoffed.

     "Excuse me? Why not?" SImon asked.

     "Tell me, what do you think the purpose of my play is about?" the man asked.

     "Sorry, your play?" Simon asked.

     "Raphael Santiago," he said, extending his hand to shake Simon's. "What is the purpose of this play?"

     "To entertain?" Simon asked.

     "No," Raphael replied.

     "Well it certainly wasn't to make them smile," Simon replied.

     "It's to make the wealthy and the high class feel superior to other beings. It inflates their egos and their sense of purpose. That's why the people go to your.....circus," Raphael said.

     "Circus!?" Simon responded, offended.

     "You have a circus of individuals who serve to make your attendees feel better about their own bodies and lives," Raphael argued.

     "No," SImon retorted. "They go to be entertained, to see an amazing show."

     "False," Raphael replied. "You never mention anything about a show in any of your advertisements. I know because I've seen them all. You advertise 'The Wolf Woman', 'The Seductive Serpentess', 'The Strongest Man in the World'. They go to see these absurd people. Their unattractiveness is attractive to them. Sure, they leave your place with more smiles than they leave mine, but that is not what they went in for, and you know it."

     "You're a very cynical man," Simon said.

     "I am a writer in high society. I am surrounded by pompous know it alls with superior egos and small minds. I'd like to see you live my life and not become like me as well," Raphael said.

     "I was poor and then my parents died, and then homeless, and poor some more, and I stayed motivated on making my dreams come true. And now, I just watched a beautiful play about love and heartbreak with the finest people in town," Simon replied.

     Raphael took a drag of his cigar. "I'm sorry to hear about your family, but congratulations on making it to where you are now. I tell you, though, the people are not worth it."

     "Tell me, what was your inspiration behind the play?" Simon asked.

     "I told you, these rich bastards pay good money to feel superior to morally terrible characters," Raphael said.

     "Exactly, which could have been anything under the sun. It could have been a tale about gamblers, prostitutes, abusers, drinkers. You wrote about a man who couldn't fall in love, and was sexually disinterested until he met another man he had a unique relationship with. Now tell me, what inspired that?" Simon asked.

     "I'm sorry, Mr. Lewis, but I'm afraid we aren't close enough for me to spill my trade secrets," Raphael replied.

     "Well, then I must get to know you better. Since you clearly have no interest in stopping by my show sometime, why don't we meet for drinks?" Simon asked.

     "I felt my inheritance shrink just by you making that offer," Raphael replied.

     "It's cold outside, you may have gotten it confused with something else," Simon joked.

     Raphael laughed. "Now you've insulted me. Why are you an individual I want to associate with?"

     "I think you're lonely. You obviously hate everyone else that would be an acceptable person for a man of your status. I don't come from that world, and you're in desperate need of a friend," Simon replied.

     "Desperate?" Raphael asked accusatory. 

     Simon looked dramatically pensive for a moment. "Moderately."

     Raphael smiled at that. "Very well, Mr. Lewis." Raphael reached into his pocket and pulled out a card. "My address. Write to me."

     "Thank you, Mr. Castro. I look forward to your correspondence," Simon said.

     "Santiago," Raphael corrected as Simon walked away. "Castro was a fictional character!"

     Simon turned around and smiled. "And so is the wolf woman!" Simon turned back and smiled, biting his lip. He forgot what he even wanted to go to his office for, but he was sure glad he made the detour.


	4. The Other Side

     Dear Raphael Santiago,

     I read the critic reviews for Castro's play. Society truly amazes me sometimes. The critics somehow praised your piece as 'revolutionary', 'captivating', and 'an exploration of the breadth of human emotion not having been discovered yet' while describing the plot as 'moral perversion', 'adulterous', and 'unholy'. There's not a single mention of love, and now I realize why Castro's parents were described as being the only couple who had it. The people you speak of clearly have none. The critics on my side, however, describe my performance as 'cheap tricks', 'a facade', 'delusional', and 'the epitome of everything wrong with our great nation'. Anyways, bad publicity is still great publicity. I'm thinking about running a advertisement right next to that shitty review and offer a discount to anyone who brings it in. That'll show Mr. Review writer what I think about his words, in case you need a lesson on how to handle negative words and thoughts that you know are incorrect. Still looking forward to grabbing a drink. I'm sure you are much busier than I, so what works best for you? 

     Sincerely,

     Simon Lewis

* * *

 

     Dear Simon Lewis,

     The words of aristocratic critics are heavily biased and need to be taken with a dash of salt, not just the grain. Their words and opinions couldn't matter less to me. All that I care about is that I get to express my art to the world, and that it brings in enough profit to please my parents. Castro's run in nearing its end, and as a season passes, I will remember how cold or warm it made me feel, but I must advance to the newest and current work. I only have a few months to write it, and I am low on inspiration. I'll be free after next Thursday, during Castro's last curtain call. How I'll definitely be looking forward to a drink by then. And by the way, I am pleasantly surprised you caught that about Castro's parents. It was my own dash of passive aggression I wanted to throw in there. I can never insult the first class too much in a single play, they pay the bills, but it brings me immense satisfaction to throw at least one quick wit in there. They deserve it.

     Sincerely, 

     Raphael Santiago

* * *

 

     "What do you look so chipper about, boss?" Maia asked, observing Simon smile bashfully at Raphael's letter. He quickly tried to fold it and place it in his suit pocket. "I know for certain that it cannot be a review for our performance."

     "That is definitely the look of someone smitten at a love letter. I've received plenty in my life time to know the feeling. Oh how it takes me back," Magnus said.

     Alec raised an eyebrow. "Oh does it now? And how many love letters have you received, exactly?"

     "Oh hush, Alexander. That hardly matters now-one hundred seventy- the point is-"

     "ONE HUNDRED SEVENTY!?" Alex exclaimed.

     "THE POINT IS," Magnus reiterated "that Simon here undoubtedly has one!"

     Magnus tried to fish into Simon's pocket, and Simon swatted his hand away and quickly dashed.

     "It isn't a declaration of love, it is merely a personal correspondence, geesh, can't a guy get a letter these days?" Simon asked as he headed upstairs to his office.

 

* * *

 

     Dear Raphael Santiago,

     The solution to your inspiration problem is actually very straightforward. You see, if your plays are to make people look down upon the characters to make them feel better about themselves, and my circus (Thank you for recommending that name, by the way. I think it fits much better now than 'museum') is for making individuals feel superior to my friends, then you have no excuses to not come and watch a performance. You can wear a wig and hat to disguise yourself from the shame that is doing something enjoyable. I have plenty of costumes to spare, if needed. And I'm glad to hear you have a healthy outlet for your frustrations. It's important for your wellbeing. I cannot wait to see your next offense in the next play.

* * *

 

     Simon paused, unsure of how to address the next part. He was becoming very self conscious about how he came across. He took the letter downstairs to Magnus and the rest.

     "Magnus, I need your advice about this letter," Simon admitted reluctantly. Magnus perked up from his spot, quickly being stopped by Alec's hand.

     "I don't think so. I got the letter," Alec said in an annoyed tone.

     "This should be good," Magnus teased.

     "Keep it up and I'll send you back to one of your one hundred seventy past lovers," Alec responded, taking the letter from Simon's hand.

     "It was one hundred seventy letters. They were only from about ninety different individuals," Magnus argued. 

     Alec gave a look that made it seem like he was going to leave right then and there, but he focused back on the note. "What are you wanting to go for?"

     "I wanted to know if 'I look forward to seeing you next Thursday' is too forward," Simon replied.

     "It is," Alec said dryly. "What's the other option?"

     "My other option is Magnus," Simon said, unsatisfied with Alec's response.

     "Nope, my beautiful Alexander whom I love very much with all of my heart forever and ever is right on that one. You're desperate," Magnus chimed in.

     "Thank you, Magnus. You've upgraded from the floor to the couch tonight," Alec replied.

     "I was on the floor!?" Magnus exclaimed.

     "Thursday it is," Alec recommended.

     "It's so short and informal," Simon replied.

     "You don't lose clothing being formal. I was very direct with Alexander when I first met him," Magnus replied.

     "No you weren't," Alec argued. "You just awkwardly talked about sex frequently."

     Magnus gave Alec a look as if Alec just realized for the first time how to spell his own name. "That was being forward!"

     "Was it? I just thought you were weird," Alec replied.

     "He's so oblivious," Magnus said to himself, pinching his forehead to cure his oncoming headache.

     "I don't even know for sure if he likes...men. I didn't even really know for sure until I met him. I just," Simon sighed. "There's something about him and I've never been in this situation before. I don't want to scare him away."

     "I will sssssee you Thursssssday night, then," Isabelle interrupted. "It'sssss polite, yet, authoritarian. Like you're dominant, even though you let him choossssssse the plan. He'll respond well to it, promisssssse."

     Magnus and Alec both looked deep in thought, debating Isabelle's words. "She's right, go for that."

     "Another thing," Alec said, dipping a small handkerchief in water, wringing it out, and bringing it to the parchment. He carefully blotted out Raphael's last name so it didn't appear that it had been there previously. "Keep it to a first name basis. Just sign it as Simon."

     "First name only?" Magnus asked. "How scandalous. When did my boyfriend get so good at seduction?"

     "Apparently when I had to compete with ninety people," Alec replied sarcastically.

     "You're not competing! You won already!" Magnus exclaimed as Alec walked away. "Homosexuals, they're so dramatic."

     A few days later, another letter was dropped off for Simon. Maia carried it in proudly, posing with it, holding it up and rotating its view to the crowd so they could all see it, as if it were the baby Jesus. Simon snatched it out of her hand and opened it.

* * *

 

     Dear Simon,

     Save me a seat next to you for your Thursday show. We'll grab those drinks after. I'll bring my own costume. I'll be disguised as the guy who is giving your circus and friends a fair and honest chance that I should have in the beginning. I warn you now because I know it'll be unrecognizable from when we first met. I apologize for that. But now I have expectations, and you better surpass them.

     Sincerely, Raphael

* * *

 

     "He wants to sit close to you, Simon. Not just any seat in the house, one by you," Maia said with an implying tone.

     "Why sit next to Simon when he can sit on him?" Magnus teased.

     "See? That's forward?" Alec responded.

     Magnus looked dumbfounded and threw his hands in the air. "Are we still on this?"

     "You're welcome," Isabelle said with a smile.

     "You barely had any input," Alec said.

     "I did ssssso," she replied.

     "Thank you all, very much," Simon replied. "Let's make sure Thursday is our best show yet!" 

     The cast members cheered loudly and all clapped and hugged Simon. When Thursday night approached, Simon stood outside greeting guests, thanking them for visiting. Normally he was in the back helping everyone prepare, but Clary was in charge of that tonight. He wanted to wait for Raphael. Simon was incredibly nervous. He kept having to take deep breaths to compose himself and readjust his customer service face for the guests coming in. He was really worried that Raphael would chicken out at the last moment, and not show. Relief washed over him like a high when he saw a smiling Raphael Santiago approach in a dark button down coat.

     "Thank you for coming, Mr. Santiago," Simon said coyly.

     "Are we back to last names now, Mr. Lewis?" Raphael teased back. Simon's eyebrow arched. That trick of Alec's was something Raphael noticed consciously and kept a mental note of.

     "I suppose we'll have to see how well tonight goes," Simon responded.

     "Which, based on your ridiculous outfit," Raphael said, taking a step back to dramatically check out Simon (or at least, Simon assumed Raphael was checking him out. Maybe the poet was authentically evaluating the bright red commander suit. Simon wasn't sure, but he'd like to assume it was the former), "I'd have to say is off to a very interesting start."

     "I first saw it in a tailor's shop when I was a lad with my father. It's unconventional, but it was beautiful. I had never seen anything like this suit before. And I knew I wanted to have it one day, and I wanted the right occasion to wear it for," Simon explained proudly. 

     Raphael smiled strongly at Simon's story. It made Simon vulnerable, as if Raphael was looking right through him, or seeing him differently for the first time. "I'll agree with you on one thing, I definitely have never seen anything like that either."

     Simon laughed at Raphael's teasing. The man was pretty funny. Simon could almost believe that it was flirting. "Follow me," Simon said. The two headed to Simon's deluxe balcony where they had a great view of the stage. They were high on stage left, but could see the whole arena, especially Magnus and Alec's aerial performances.

     "I must admit," Raphael said. "I'm a bit nervous."

     "How come?" Simon asked.

     "I have no idea what to expect," Raphael said, looking over the balcony.

     Simon chuckled. "If everyone knew what to expect, they wouldn't come."

     "Maybe they're afraid, and that's keeping them away," Raphael said.

     Simon looked at Raphael sincerely. "Let them be afraid. It gives them something to be brave about, and overcome."

     Raphael gave Simon a slightly stunned impression, as if it was Simon now who had seen right through him. Raphael gave Simon a small, genuine smile before looking back at the stage. The spotlights focused on Maia, who stepped out of the curtains.

     " _Ladies and gents, this is the moment you've been waiting for,"_ she sang. The curtain rose up, revealing the entire ensemble.

     " _Woo-ooooAAAAooAAAAAH!"_ they belted out harmoniously, their vocals echoing throughout with such power that Raphael's face dropped.

     "They sound brilliant!" Raphael exclaimed.

     "Yes, yes they do," Simon agreed. 

      Simon watched Raphael's expressions throughout the entire night. Sure, Simon wished Raphael would look over at Simon and they'd get lost in each other's eyes, but there was something magical about seeing how captivated Raphael was with the entire performance. He looked like a child on Christmas, watching as Alec and Magnus flipped through the air, swinging just inches from their balcony. Simon watched how Raphael reacted to Isabelle's dance with a 50 foot python. Normally, men would be watching with their jaws dropped, completely captivated, but Raphael just had a regular smile.

     "That's an impressive snake," Raphael commented. "Where did you find such a thing?"

     "The Idrisian jungles in Africa. That's where most of the animals are shipped from," Simon replied.

     "It's an outstanding creature," Raphael said.

     "And what do you think about Isabelle?" Simon asked.

     "Eh, she's not bad," Raphael replied. Simon smiled widely at that response. When the show was finished, Raphael stood up and gave a round of applause. Simon stood up next to him and smiled.

     "So, what do you think about my low class performance?" Simon asked.

     Raphael chuckled. "I think it is best described as....an inspiring celebration of diversity."

     Simon grinned at the response. "I wish you could write the reviews instead of the snobs."

     "There's nothing creative in being judgemental," Raphael replied. 

     "That's very eloquently put," Simon replied. "Let's grab that drink to celebrate your courage."

     The two of them arrived at a bar and got two glasses of scotch. "That show really was inspiring, Simon. I've never seen anything like it. And it's amazing at how overjoyed the audience was. The genuine happiness all around was so foreign to me. I've never been in such a positive environment such as that."

     "Then why do you stay in your environment?" Simon asked. "I don't understand." They both drink their drinks and wince at the strength of the alcohol.

     "You exchange many novelties for privileges when you're born into a family like mine. There is no fun, no happiness, and rarely is their love. But you get status, money, and an easy life." Raphael explained.

     "Life isn't enjoyable if it's too easy." Simon replied.

     "Life isn't enjoyable when you're poor and homeless," Raphael argued.

     "You don't need to tell me twice," Simon said.

     "My options are conform to my parent's standards where I know what to expect and what to do or suffer through the unknown and risk everything," Raphael said, signaling the bartender for two more drinks.

     "The unknown isn't terrible. You just make a plan of action and work hard to reach your goals. It makes the good moments more enjoyable that was because they're special!" Simon explained. They drank their drinks in unison once more.

     "I prefer boring comfort over those moments," Raphael said.

     "I don't think you do," Simon said, standing up from his seat. " _Right here, right now, I'll put the offer out. I don't want to chase you down, but I know you see it! You run with me, and I will cut you free out of the drudgery and walls you keep in. So trade that typical for something colorful, and if it's crazy, live a little crazy! You can play it sensible, king of conventional, or you can risk it all and seeeeeeee."_ Simon swung around the nearby pole in the establishment and slid across the floor, popping back up near Raphael. " _Don't you want to get away from the same old part you want to play cause I've got what you need so come with me and take the ride! I'll take you to the other side!"_ He grabbed Raphael's hand and pulled him out of his chair. Raphael signaled for two more drinks to the bartender. Simon spun Raphael around and smiled. " _Cause you can do like you do, or you can do like me. Stay in your cage, or come out and take the key. Oh, damn, suddenly you're free to fly! I'll take you to the other side!"_

     " _Okay, my friend, you want to cut me in. Well I hate to tell you, but it just won't happen."_ Raphael broke free of Simon and headed back to the counter and drank his drink. Simon followed him, drank his as well, and signaled for two more. " _So thanks, but no, I think I'm good to go. Because I'm quite content with the world you say I'm trapped in."_ Raphael put on his coat and scarf and headed to the door. " _Now I admire you, and the whole show you do. You're onto something, really it's something. But I live among the swells, and we don't pick up peanut shells. I guess I'll leave that up to you."_ Simon approached Raphael and handed Raphael a drink, but as Raphael went to grab it, Simon took a step back, inching back into the bar. Raphael smiled and followed, grabbing the drink and consuming it. " _Don't you know that I'm okay with this uptown part I get to play? Cause I've got what I need and I don't want to take the ride. I don't want to see the other side. So go and do like you do. I'm good to do like me. I'm not in a cage so I don't need to come out and take a key. Oh, damn, can't you see I'm doing fine? I don't need to see the other side."_

Raphael headed back towards the door. Simon signaled for two more drinks. " _Is this really how you want to spend your days? Whiskey and misery, avoiding your own plays?"_

Raphael snickered, and bit his lip, having just been read before turning back around at Simon. " _If I were mixed up with you, I'd be the talk of the town. Disgraced and disowned, another one of the clowns."_

" _But you would finally live a little, finally laugh a little. Just let me give you the freedom to dream and it'll wake you up and cure your aching. Take your walls and start them breaking. Now that's a deal that seems worth taking!"_ _Simon lifted the drink and gestured it to Raphael. "But I guess I will leave that up to you."_

Raphael looked at the glass and chuckled. He looked intensely at Simon, who was sitting there expectantly. Raphael licked his lip seductively and smiled. " _Well it's intriguing, but to go would cost me greatly.  So what percentage of the show would I be taking?"_

Simon beamed at Raphael, his plan having gone over smoothly. " _Fair enough, you want your piece of all the action. I'll give you seven, we can shake and make it happen."_

 _"I wasn't born this morning, eighteen will be just fine,"_ Raphael sang.

     Simon's jaw dropped at the ridiculous offer. " _Why not just go ahead and ask for nickles on a dime?"_

_"Fifteen."_

_"I'll do eight."_

_"Twelve."_

_"Maybe nine."_

_"Ten,"_ Raphael demanded. "Or I walk."

     Simon sighed. "Bartender, can I have some more shots for my new business partner and I?"

     Raphael smiled and the bartender lined up about ten shots.

     " _Don't you want to get away to a whole new part we're gunna play? Cause I got what you need and together we'll take the ride, we're going to the other side,"_ they sang together. They each did about two shots after their line.

     " _So if you do like I do,"_ Simon sang before doing an additional shot.

     " _So if you do like me,"_ Raphael added before his final shot.

     " _Forget the cage because we know how to make the key! Oh damn, suddenly we're free to fly! We're going to the other side!"_ Raphael grabbed Simon's face and kissed him deeply. It was slightly drunk and sloppy, and it surprised Simon, but Simon cupped Raphael's face back and returned the favor, getting equally involved in their own kiss. They continued for a moment before the bartender's cough reminded them to stop. They broke away, and the both of them were blushing heavily.

     "Sorry," Raphael said to the bartender. "I suppose I'll see you tomorrow, boss."

     "S...see you tomorrow, Raphael." Raphael smiled and headed out the door, looking back at Simon one more time before vanishing in the night. Simon went home that night with a permanent smile. All he could think about was Raphael kissing him, something he initiated. His heart was fluttering wildly, and he was restless. It didn't help that the shots had finally caught up with him, and the room was spinning. He wanted Raphael to hold him still and help him be stable through the night. Possibly soon, Simon thought. He would see Raphael tomorrow.


	5. Tightrope/Never Enough

     Raphael arrived in his room, very intoxicated, having just agreed to work for Simon, and having just kissed him in the middle of a public bar. It wasn't just a peck on the mouth, Raphael had really gone to town in there. He had put all of himself into that kiss, and all of his tongue as well. It was passionate, and Simon reciprocated it. That was the most terrifying part. Raphael didn't know how to navigate what came after this.

     " _Some people long for a life that is privileged and grand, tied with a ribbon. Some people won't sail the sea cause they're safer on land, to follow what's written. And now I'm here facing the great unknown. In a world where I'm all alone,_ " Raphael sang as he collapsed onto his bed. " _Fear in my head, not knowing which way to go, I'm stuck on a tightrope. High in the sky, and I can see all of my fears down below. I'm stuck on this tightrope. Never sure, never know how far I might fall. And it's all a big nightmare that comes with a terrifying view. I'm stuck on the tightrope cause of you, you, you you, you."_

He got up from his bed and moved over to his writing desk. He looked at pictures of his family and his manuscripts for his plays. " _Misery and Tragedy and all that will come in between. Heartache and regret. You pulled me in and now I'm more confused than I've been in all my history. I can't risk it all just to be with you. I can't risk it all for this life I didn't choose."_

Raphael climbed out onto his balcony, and climbed over the railing halfway.  " _Fear in my head, not knowing which way to go, I'm stuck on a tightrope. High in the sky, and I can see all of my fears down below. I'm stuck on this tightrope. Never sure, never know how far I might fall. And it's all a big nightmare that comes with a terrifying view. I'm stuck on the tightrope cause of you, you, you you, you."_

     Raphael looked intensely at the distance of the drop down below. "Pull yourself together, Raphael," he said as he climbed back to his balcony and went back inside. He took off his clothes and crawled into his bed. He closed his eyes, and bit his lip, thinking about his magical kiss. "Simon," he whispered as he drifted off to sleep.

 

     Simon entered the circus the next morning and the cast members were already sitting around, waiting to hear the details from Simon's night.

     "Do I see you walking with a limp?" Magnus asked.

     "What? No," Simon replied, before realizing the impact of Magnus's question. He shot back up and glared at the man. "NO!"

     "How did your date go?" Maia asked.

     "It's personal, and he'll be coming in to work with us," Simon replied.

     "Does he have a talent?" Alec asked, the most innocent of all the questions.

     The urge to make a joke couldn't be suppressed by Simon's moral conscious. "Yeah, he's got a talent," Simon joked, blushing. Everyone but Alec cheered and made congratulatory noises as Simon gestured for them to keep quiet. "He'll be here soon I don't want you all to make it weird or scare him away."

     "Don't worry, boss," Jace said. "I'm confident you'll manage to do that on your own."

     Simon sighed. "Thank you, Jace, for the support." Jace smiled and gave a thumbs up.

     Raphael walked into the room and everyone gave a knowing look, but respectfully didn't say anything aloud to embarrass Simon, who had just lit up like the stars in the night sky.

     "Everyone, this is Raphael Santiago. He's our new-"

     "Simon, about that, I need to talk to you in private," Raphael interrupted. 

     Simon's smile faltered, and the cast could see his disappointment. They didn't mention it, and they looked away. "Sure, let's head upstairs to the office." They headed up the staircase in awkward silence until they had the privacy with closed doors. There was still the glass wall, and Simon caught a few of them looking in.

     "About last night," Raphael said. Simon took a deep breath to calm his nerves, expecting the worst. "I was really drunk, and I shouldn't have..."

     "Kissed me?" Simon asked, looking hurt. He wanted to hide his pain from Raphael, and have a stronger poker face, but he couldn't. And Raphael was looking at him, equally hurt. He looked over at the man he had just broken, and his own internal brokenness was now echoing within him.

     "Take the position," Raphael corrected. Simon looked incrementally more relieved, but not enough. 

     "So, where does that leave us?" Simon asked, approaching Raphael. Simon tried to carefully and delicately grab Raphael's hand. Raphael winced, and pulled his hand away, a tear forming in his eye.

     "You don't want me, Simon," Raphael said.

     "Yes, I do, Raphael," Simon insisted.

     "I can't provide you certain things that a lover should," Raphael argued.

     "I don't care about that," Simon assured.

     "You say that now, but you will. When you're with me, you'll have a desire or a want or an ache, and you'll feel disappointed or let down knowing that I can't share that with you. And you'll spend your whole life wanting more than what I can give you!" Raphael cried.

     "Did another guy make you feel this way? Because I am not them, Raphael. I'm different!" Simon replied.

     "You say that now, but you're all the same. Everyone in this society. Being gay together, it'll make our lives incredibly difficult, and terrible. And I can't give you the one thing to make it worth while. The one thing being gay is supposed to be about," Raphael countered.

     "We can still hug each other, kiss each other, hold each other. We can wake up to one another, and spend our time together, Raphael. That's all I want. I just want you. You're enough!" Simon cried.

     "No," Raphael choked out, holding back his tears. 

     " _I'm trying to hold my breath. Let it stay this way, can't let this moment end. Y_ _ou set off a dream in me. Getting louder now, can you hear it echoing?"_ Simon reapproached Raphael, and held him again. Raphael didn't fight Simon this time. " _Take my hand. Will you share this with me? Cause darling, without you: all the shine of a thousand spotlights, all the stars we steal from the night sky will never be enough, will never be enough. Your fears are strong, but still too little. If my hands aren't holding yours than it'll never be enough, never be enough for me!"_  Simon began to dance with Raphael, leading him through the steps, circling through the office. _"Never, never! Never, never! It'll never be enough, never be enough for me!"_

Raphael finally let go and headed to the door before turning around. " _All the seconds in a million lifetimes, All the 'greats' and the 'goods' would become 'just fines', I'll never be enough. I'll never be enough."_ Simon approached Raphael, and Raphael dodged him. " _Your promises and your word are too little, your heart is warm, but mine is brittle so I'll never be enough, never be enough for you!"_

"No," Simon interrupted, crying.

     " _Never, never"_

 _"_ Raphael, I-"

      " _Never, never. I'll never be enough. I'll never be enough for you!"_

     Simon approached Raphael, cupped his face, and kissed him softly. Their tears poured each of their eyes, and onto each other. They both trembled, making it hard to keep their lips together. Raphael was the one to pull away.

     "Please don't go," Simon begged softly, his voice hoarse from crying.

     Simon could tell Raphael was calculating and contemplating the whole world in his eyes. Simon hoped, and he was praying that Raphael would make the right choice in this moment.

     "Goodbye, Simon," Raphael said as he made his way to the door. Simon scrunched up his face, trying to fight back the tears, not looking back at Raphael who walked out.     


	6. The Malec Song/This is Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So 'The Malec Song' has no referenceable beat to follow along with that may make it hard to read. It is mostly an upbeat, talk-sung cheered song that is inspired by "It Takes Two" (Into the Woods), and "The Thrill of First Love" (Falsettos). Of course, you can imagine your own beat to it, whatever works best.

     It had been a week since Raphael came to their circus and broke Simon's heart. Simon was too depressed to do his part on stage, and while Clary tried to fill in the role, she didn't have his enthusiasm or grandeur. Guests were leaving, still entertained, but were asking when Simon would be back.

     "He's got a bad stomach bug, he'll be back soon," Clary lied, with a smile. The guests were understanding, but Simon was as much of the performance as the cast members were. Once everyone had left, she had sighed and she headed backstage where everyone got undressed and got ready to leave for the night. They looked up and they saw a dim light shining from his office.

     "When is he going to stop brooding up there, all depressing and negatively?" Magnus asked.

     "I don't know," Clary replied dryly.

     "Have you talked to him?" Alec asked.

     "Mom and I have tried, he's just....."

     "Pathetic?" Jace asked.

     "Hey, strong man. I bet you're not strong enough to act happy after a broken heart," Maia said.

     "I'm strong enough to not have anyone break my heart to begin with," Jace argued.

     "Isssssss that ssssso?" Izzy asked.

     "You're not my type, lady. I like a lot of tongue, but that's a bit much for me," Jace replied.

     "The conversation is done, let's just make the most of it until he's out of his funk," Clary suggested.

     "I'm not sure, Clare-Bear," Magnus replied, holding a newspaper. He cleared his throat before he began to read. "The namesake Simon Lewis of Simon Lewis's Circus has been missing in action for several days. While the interesting and peculiar cast are the main attractions and performers, Mr. Lewis does a great job as an announcer, commentator, and host. His enthusiasm and charisma get the audience excited and hyper as they wait in anticipation for the next breathtaking act. His assistant-"

     "His what?" Clary asked.

     "-does not have the same properties and talents Mr. Simon has, and has made the audience feel lackluster the past week. While the show is still entertaining, it cannot be correctly called 'Simon Lewis's Circus'. He is, in a way, the most iconic act as the titular talent."

     "I'm sorry," Alec said. "I'm flipping through the fucking air, and Simon is the most iconic act?"

     "Calm down, darling, it's just a review. You know we don't listen to those." Magnus assured.

     "I'd like to see the douchebag who wrote that flip through the air," Alec sniped.

     "Simon will be back soon," Clary reassured.

     "He'd better," Jace said. "This paper came out today. It's surely going to hurt attendance the next few days."

     Jace grabbed his bag and headed out the door.

     "Adiosssss," Izzy said as she followed. 

     Clary smiled bittersweetly as she also left, along with the rest of the cast. It was just Magnus, Alec, and Maia left behind.

     "I feel so bad for the guy," Maia said.

     Magnus smiled and began to tap away on his desk.

     " _Alec, my dear, I think it's time for an intervention."_

Alec sighed and rolled his eyes. " _Magnus, I know what you well and I believe you mean to scheme."_

" _Since you mention, y_ _ou're right, my love, I have a plan of my own invention."_

_"So what's the question?"_ Alec asked.

     " _How about we conspire? To give Mr. Lewis what he so desires?  We convince Raphael to fuel his fires._ So we're not fired!" Magnus suggested.

     "Ha!  _How do we accomplish that with a man who's dodgy with his heart like a bat? His whole wide world is upside down and his frown is connected to a cold heart on the upside of town where we don't belong!"_

_"We'll get them along!"_ Magnus said.

      " _Are you hearing what I said, man?"_

_"If we don't then we're both dead, man,"_ Magnus replied. " _Do this for me, honey, so we keep making money."_

_"_ Do you only think of yourselves?" Maia asked.

      " _Do you want to pack up your shelves?"_ Magnus asked, gesturing to her vanity. " _We'll get Raphael to stop his panic! With a little help from Magnus and Alec!"_

_"_ _The homosexual perverts from that filthy freak show. I see it now, the man's gunna say hell no. And while you're trying to pull out all of the stops, he's gunna go ahead and call all of the cops. I'm su_ _re our reputation won't help us get much far, because instead of our stunt ones, we'll be behind bars!"_

_"_ _You're being paranoid and overly dramatic, I should be surprised but I know you too well, Alec. You're being over protective!"_

_"You have an outrageous objective!"_ Alec replied.

     " _I just want Lewis to have what we have,"_ Magnus said, grabbing Alec's waist, pulling him in close. His voice got less upbeat, and more sincere and sentimental. " _I want the two of them to love how we love. It's unfair that we showcase ours up high. And leave them on the ground to wonder why-"_ He spun Alec around and dipped him romantically. " _That they can't share what we share. It's because that I care. And I think it's unfair that they can't be a pair."_ Magnus sprinted up to a wooden box, and jumped on it, his voice becoming more upbeat. " _So come help me, Alexander! I'll be the general and you'll be my commander! Help me navigate this plan I meander! "_

_"_ _Okay, alright,"_ Alec sang happily. " _Even if it's gunna take all night. We'll get 'Saphael' to become a thing!"_

_"I think that name has a joyous little ring!"_ Magnus said.

     " _I think a 'joyous little ring' has one too,"_ Alec teased, holding up his left hand, which was bare.

     " _That's a convo for a later discuss. 'Saphael' needs help from Alec and Magnus,"_ Magnus sang, avoiding Alec as he rolled his eyes and smirked.

     "Not so fast," Maia interrupted. " _You boys are foolish and in a headrush. You'll need  help from someone with a delicate touch."_

"Those claws are considered delicate?" Alec asked.

     " _Oh hush,"_ Maia replied. " _A woman's brain with the forces of you, will surely help Simon's come true. I'm not risking it to just the likes of you two."_

_"_ Rude," the two of them sang.

     " _So let's go,"_ Maia sang _. "Let's go,"_ Magnus and Alec repeated.

     " _So let's plan." "Let's plan."_

_"_ _Let's get Simon Lewis Raphael's hand." "Get his hand."_

_"So we can keep making this circus quite grand!" "Quite grand!"_

_"So they can have what you have and love how you love and start feeling like they're high above!" "High above!"_

_"So let's go!" "Let's go!"_

"Let's go!" " _Let's go!"_

_"_ I'm serious you two, let's go now! Stop singing!" Maia insisted.

     "Oh, right," Magnus said.

 

     Raphael was at a cocktail party supporting another playwright he was friends with. He was mingling and drinking a little more champagne than he needed to be. He was missing Simon, but this was the life he chose. He chose to be surrounded by these people, doing shallow mingling.

     "Comfort is the opposite of progress," a voice said behind him. Raphael turned around to see Magnus and Alec in fancy suits at their party.

     "You're the gentlemen from the circus," Raphael replied.

     "Sometimes. But right now, I am Magnus Bane, son of Lars Bane and Endah Bane, the wealthiest foreigners on this coast," Magnus said.

     "Of course. Bane Jenever, I've tasted it. It's mighty strong," Raphael replied.

     "That's the point. If you want a good time or get over a bad time, you drink a lot of that," Magnus said.

     "I'd like to forget a bad time," Raphael said.

     "What bad time? This party? The day you had drinks with Simon?" Magnus asked.

     "That was a good time. Every other time of my life had been bad," Raphael said.

     "If that was a good time, why not pursue more, Mr. Santiago?" Alec asked.

     "You know how these people are," Raphael said.

     "You're right. I do. When I began dating Alexander and I came out to my parents, they threw me out and disowned me. I managed to get a little bit of a comfort nest egg out of them, but I'm no longer a Bane to them. It's funny because he's Danish, and she's Indonesian. You'd think their struggle would have earned me some sympathy, but no." Magnus replied.

     "I don't understand. You're only reaffirming my decision, which I assume you're here to get me to change my mind," Raphael replied.

     "I wasn't living until I was with Alexander. I wasn't happy. I was throwing myself at other-"

     Alec cleared his throat.

     "-distartions and hobbies, none of which brought me satisfaction that Alexander has." Magnus said.

     "Thank you," Alec said dryly, overlooking his bad choices.

     "I would choose Alexander again, every single time. There isn't a thing in this world I wouldn't give up if it meant staying with him." Magnus said.

     "Isn't it hard?" Raphael asked.

     "Oh, absolutely. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. Everyday we get rude looks, rude comments, judgement. It was hard getting a place together. So many places turned us down. It was hard to keep jobs. But let me tell you, I was going through hell when I kept it to myself. I was lonely and empty, and I was still dealing with the exact same shit. But I have someone to go through it with now, and that is honestly, the best feeling in the world. I have my support, my anchor. Alexander is always there for me, and he helps heal every wound I have, and I heal his."

     "I have no wounds, actually," Alec said.

     Magnus turned to Alec is disbelief. "Honestly? We're having this wholesome moment and that's how you contribute?"  

     Raphael laughed. "You fight often?"

     "Constantly," they both said.

     Raphael shrugged. "Then why keep at it?"

     Alec smiled. "Magnus makes me a better person. He gives me motivation. He is the reason I am here on this Earth. He makes life worth living. I want to raise a family together with him and grow old together and share my whole life with him."

     "A family?" Magnus asked, surprised at Alec's words.

     "That's a convo for a later discuss," Alec said in a mocking tone.

     "You two should exactly know how I feel right now," Raphael interrupted.

     "We do, and that's why we're here to guide you," Alec said.

     Raphael walked away into another empty room, and Alec and Magnus followed, closing the door behind them.

     " _I am not a stranger to the dark. I've hid away, every day, so I could fulfil my family's part. I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars. I've run away, and stayed, cause no one will love my broken heart,"_ Raphael sang.

     " _You can't let them break you down to dust. I know that there's a place for us. For we are glorious,"_ Magnus and Alec replied.

     " _Your kind words are starting to help me out, but my fears start a flood and drown them out. I'm not brave, I am bruised, and this is who I'm stuck to be. This is me,"_ Raphael sang as he sprinted down the hallway. Magnus and Alec chased after him. " _Another false hope may make me grin, but I shove it away, and I stray, because this fight I cannot win. I am putting up my walls, and entertaining these lies I am done because this is the man that I've become."_

_"You can't put your walls all up now. We'll teach you to love and we'll show you how. We can be proud!"_ Magnus and Alec responded. " _When your strongest fears come pounding loud, believe in yourself to drown them out. You're not flawed, you are loved, embrace your feelings cause they're true, this is you!"_

_"And I know that you deserve his love,"_ Magnus sang.

_"Cause there's nothing you're not worthy of!"_ Alec sang.

_"Your kind words are starting to help me out,"_ Raphael replied.

     " _We'll teach you to love and we'll show you how,"_ Magnus and Alec sang. 

     " _I'm not brave."_

_"You're not flawed."_

_"I am bruised."_

_"You are loved."_

Magnus and Alec sandwiched Raphael into a hug. "This is we," Magnus said.

     "We've been there, Raphael," Alec replied.

     The two let go of Raphael, who looked teary-eyed.

     "Obviously we don't want to pressure you into taking Simon back if you can't or won't or you're not ready, but since we've been in your shoes, if you'd like us as friends, we can support you in what you're going through," Magnus replied. He handed Raphael a ticket to a play.

     "Just meet us tomorrow, and we'll talk more, and then we'll leave you alone for a bit until you decide you're ready for something or need us again," Alec said.

     "Thank you, guys," Raphael said as he took the ticket. "I'll see you tomorrow."

     Magnus and Alec smiled, and nodded goodbye to Raphael. They headed out of the fancy lobby and headed home.

     "Our plan worked," Alec said.

     "I knew it would. You were the one having doubts," Magnus said.

     "If you were dating you, you'd doubt you too," Alec said.

     "You're downgraded to the floor," Magnus replied.

     "That's my system, get your own," Alec replied.

     "You're literally so unfair." The two argued their entire way home, but they made love to each other as passionately and romantically and sincerely as they always do, and fell asleep in each other's loving embrace, both happy knowing that the two of them were each other's forever.


	7. Rewrite the Stars/Never Enough (Reprise)

     Simon stood outside the theatre hall, admiring its architecture. Maia had given him a ticket for a play, and she was very adamant about him getting outside and doing something social with a friend. She said it would be 'therapeutic' for him. He reluctantly agreed, he needed to force himself to be social and get out of his slump. He looked around for Maia, when a familiar voice grabbed his attention.

     "Simon?" Raphael asked. Simon turned around to see Raphael, standing in his intense black peacoat with a red wine scarf. Raphael looked almost happy to see Simon, but all Simon felt was pain and hurt. Here he was, trying to forget this man, and he was standing right in front of him.

     "What are you doing here?" Simon asked.

     "I was supposed to meet Magnus and Alec to see this play," Raphael replied.

     Simon squinted suspiciously at the notion. "What seat are you in?"

     "Section 4, Seat J7," Raphael replied.

     Simon scoffed and nodded, realizing what had just happened. "J6. We've been set up."

     Simon would have stormed off in anger, outraged by their outlandish attempt his friends had just tried to scheme. Anger and humiliation would have boiled up within him and burst out from his pores if it wasn't for one thing:

     His smile.

     Raphael was smiling, happy to see Simon, and the man's eyes began to fill with sparkling water that reflected the star's lights. 

     "Why are you looking like that?" Simon asked.

     Raphael looked caught off guard. He felt Simon looking through him. The man had a way of lowering the guard he had put up his entire life. There is no lie he could create right now that Simon would believe, so he would settle for the truth. "I miss you. I know that I've hurt you, but I was so afraid, and, well I'd like a second chance right now. If you'll have me. Let me see this play with you, Simon."

     Simon contemplated Raphael's words, and the man looked so sincere and apologetic. Raphael had a way of making Simon weak, and feel hopelessly in love. He was trying to be strong enough to fight off Raphael, but he couldn't; not in the past week, and definitely not now. "Sure, Raphael, I'll go with you."

     Raphael smiled and escorted Simon inside the theatre. The two of them were awkward and shy, but as soon as they found their seats and looked into each other's eyes, they smiled at one another. This was finally going to be possible.

     The play was heartwarming and happy. It was significantly more upbeat and positive than Raphael's was. The couple was still challenged with their obstacles in being together, but their friends had orchestrated a plan to get them all together.

     Raphael grabbed Simon's hand in the middle of the play, causing Simon's heart to skip a beat and flutter. It was warm and loving, and Simon never wanted to let go of him. Him and Raphael could finally be happy.

     The play ended, and the audience applauded, feeling delighted by the happy ending and validation of true love. Simon went to let go of Raphael's hand as they stood up, but Raphael continued to hold on. Simon turned to see Raphael's hopeful expression, and Simon's heart melted.

     "I'm proud of how far you've come," Simon replied.

     Raphael seemed surprised at such a bold statement, but Raphael's charming smile that always made Simon feel warmer than a thousand lit candles emerged once more, and Simon was feeling confident. They had just watched a couple defy all of the odds, judgement, and pressure from their peers and triumphed. Simon and Raphael would surely do the same. They were supported by Clary, Jocelyn, and the rest of their friends. Nothing would keep them apart any longer. Simon was in pure and utter bliss that their date was a huge success that it took a while to realize that Raphael was slowly loosening his grip on Simon.

     As Simon looked around on their way out of the building, they were receiving stares from all of the heterosexual couples. There were a few awkward coughs from the crowd, a few whispered 'look at those two' and an 'indecent'. Simon looked at Raphael's face. His smile was no longer existent. It was tense, nervous, and he looked like prey that was trying to remain still while in the sights of a predator. 

     They finally reached outside where Raphael grew slightly more comfortable, but he was still looking around, visibly on edge. "Raphael, you're fine, everything is going to be alright," Simon said, adjusting Raphael's peacoat for him. "It'll take some getting used to, but we can do it together, right?"

     "Yeah, yeah," Raphael said unconvincingly, avoiding looking at Simon's eyes. Simon grabbed Raphael's waist, and that got Raphael's attention. Simon leaned in for a kiss, and Raphael mutually pursued. The second their lips touched one another, a demanding "RAPHAEL" was exclaimed from near them. They broke apart and turned to see who it was. It was an older latino couple wearing exquisite clothing that approached.

     "Mother, father," Raphael said nervously. "What are you-"

     "We don't want to hear you," Mr. Santiago said. "Your mother and I always wondered where you got the inspiration for your uncomfortable plays. Now we see it's because you've been living with these perversions."

     "Let go of my son, you disgusting degenerate," Mrs. Santiago ordered. Simon awkwardly stepped away to the side.

     "You embarrass us, our family name out here in the open?" Mr. Santiago accused. Simon and Raphael looked around. Multiple individuals were watching and staring.

     "What do you have to say for yourself?" Mrs. Santiago asked.

     Simon looked at Raphael, who was fighting hard to remain his composure. There was pain in his face, and he was visibly fighting off tears. But Raphael remained silent.

     "Raphael," Simon pleaded.

     "Silence, you homogenital bugger!" Mr. Santiago exclaimed. Simon's heart sunk down to his feet. The anger in Mr. Santiago was frightening. His hand was balled up into a fist. He was afraid he would hit him, or worse, Raphael in this very moment. His father turned back to Raphael. "If you come home, this behavior of yours better be dropped forever. And if it won't be, do. Not. Come. Back."

     Mr. and Mrs. Santiago walked away from a heartbroken Simon and a scared Raphael. Simon stepped towards Raphael and reached for his hand, but Raphael, all too familiarly, pulled it away. 

     "Let me take you back home," Raphael choked out, his voice weakened by fighting back tears. The two walked in silence the entire trip back to the circus. They didn't talk, they didn't try to hold each other's hands, and they didn't even look at one another. They arrived back to the warm, deserted building, and looked around the empty auditorium.

     "This would be so much easier if the world were as empty and alone as this room right now. If everything were only us," Raphael said.

     "Raphael, you can't keep going back and forth like this," Simon pleaded.

     "I know, I know,"

     "You keep acting so hot and then cold-"

     "I know, I know"

     "You keep getting my hopes up, and then you keep letting me down I-" SImon interrupted himself, grimacing at his choice of wording. They were chosen in pain and in anger. Simon looked at Raphael's face, which now looked broken and defeated. "Raphael, I don't, I didn't mean-"

     "No, you're right. I keep hurting you repeatedly," Raphael depressingly confessed. "You don't deserve this."

     "Raphael, we can make it work. I believe in you," Simon replied. " _You know I want you. It's not a secret I try to hide. I know you want me. So don't keep saying  our hands are tied."_ Simon ran up to Raphael and held the both of his hands. He guided them to his chest, right over his heart. " _You claim it's not in the cards and fate is pulling you miles away and out of reach from me. But you're here in my heart so who can stop me if I decide that you're my destiny?"_

Simon grabbed Raphael's hand and guided them to an outdoor balcony. There was nothing obstructing the view, and no lights on this side of the building, so the view of the nighttime sky was gorgeous and sparkly. Simon stood in front of Raphael, grabbed his hands and pulled them around him, so that he was wrapping himself up in Raphael's partial embrace. " _What if we rewrite the stars? Say that you were made to be mine. Nothing could keep us apart, you'd be the one I was meant to find. It's up to you, and it's up to me, and no one can say what we get to be. So why don't we rewrite the stars? Maybe the world could be ours tonight."_

Raphael let go and headed back inside, Simon following him closely behind. " _You think it's easy? You think I don't want to run to you? But there are mountains and there are doors that we can't walk through. I know you're wondering why because we're able to be just you and me within these walls, but when we go outside you're gunna wake up and see that it was hopeless after all."_

He took a few steps away before Simon grabbed his hand, spun him around, and pulled him close. Their foreheads were gently pressed together, and they were holding one another again. " _No one can rewrite the stars. How can you say you'll be mine? Everything keeps us apart. I'm not the one you were meant to find. It's not up to you, it's not up to me when everyone tells us what we can be. How can we rewrite the stars and say that the world will be ours tonight?"_

Raphael began to dash down the steps this time, so that Simon wouldn't be able to catch up. Simon climbed over the railing and began to sing.

     " _All I want is to fly with you! All I want is to fall with you! So just give me all of you!"_

Raphael turned around to look at Simon. " _It feels impossible!"_

_"It's not impossible."_

_"Is it impossible?"_

_"Say that it's possible!"_ Simon sang as he jumped down and caught up to Raphael, holding him one last time as they sang together. " _How do we rewrite the stars, say that you were made to be mine? Nothing can keep us apart. Cause you are the one I was meant to find. It's up to you, and it's up to me, no one can say what we get to be. And why don't we rewrite the stars? Changing the world to be ours tonight!"_

Simon pressed his lips to Raphael's, and Raphael kissed Simon back. It was softer, less passionate than their first kiss, but more in love, and comfortable with one another. Raphael pulled himself back. " _You know I want you. It's not a secret I try to hide. But I can't have you. We're bound to break and my hands are tied.."_

Raphael walked away from Simon and opened up the front door. He turned to look back at Simon. "Forget about me, Simon. I'm making my decision for good this time. I'm sorry I put you through this rollercoaster. You didn't deserve it."

     He walked out, and closed the door behind him. Simon cried, feeling foolish for being placed in this situation another time because of Raphael. " _All the laughs and all of the times that we kissed, they're now opportunes that we've just missed. I guess I'll never be enough. I'll never be enough. I guess my dreams and hopes should have been little. Your heart is cold now mine is brittle. I'll never be enough. Never be enough."_

 

Raphael entered his home after a long walk of misery and isolation. He turned to see his parents sitting in the parlor room with a lit fireplace illuminating the otherwise dark and cold abode. He stared at them long and cold in complete silence before turning to the stairs ahead of him and heading to his room. His parents watched intently as he walked away.

     "Are we certain that he'll behave?" Mrs. Santiago asked.

     "I'll hire somebody to guarantee that he does," Mr. Santiago replied.


	8. From Now On

     Simon entered the circus the next night where everybody was waiting for him. SImon had skipped the morning show and the night show. He looked at Magnus, Alec, and Maia who were looking at him expectantly, but also hesitantly due to the expression of displeasure on his face.

     "Don't you ever-" Simon stated, "do something like that again."

     The trio of them nodded and Simon headed back to his office on the second story.

     "You three tried your best," Clary said to console them. "I wish it worked out. He deserved to be happy. I'm going to go talk to him." Clary headed up the staircase and headed into his office.

     "I don't want to talk to anyone," Simon replied.

     "I'm not just anyone," Clary said. "I'm sorry about Raphael. I'm sorry you had to go through the same thing twice."

     "I just thought the second chance, he'd go through with it that time," Simon replied.

     "It's scary, to pursue what you want. Fear keeps people in the closet. It kept you in there," she replied.

     "I never hurt anyone," Simon argued.

     "You hurt me, Simon" Clary responded. Simon perked his head up from it handing downwards in depression. "You never told me that you liked guys or even remotely found them attractive or you were interested. You kept it to yourself until you met Raphael and then ran with it. But the difference between you and Raphael is that you had me and Jocelyn and all of these people to support you. Raphael didn't have that. He has pressuring parents threatening him and he's in the public eye and-"

     "Well, I'm in the public eye," Simon replied. 

     "You're right," Clary said, headed over to a stack of mail that she had placed in there this morning. She pulled out a newspaper, flipped a few pages, and dropped it onto his desk. Simon slid it over to him and looked at the headline.

     "Circus Showman Simon Lewis causes scandalous scene with playwright Raphael Santiago and family in front of Opera House," Simon read. "I'm glad they got a photo to go with it."

     "As positive as a person I am, the circus will face some kind of consequence. Raphael is surely expecting one as well. He was afraid of something like this happening to him, and he was probably even more afraid of something like this happening to you," Clary reassured.

     Simon just sat there, soaking in her words. "Do you really think he was more worried for me than he was himself?"

     "I do," Clary said. "That Castro character, everything was supposedly his own fault, his actions, but the other two characters got the worst of it, and Castro was left feeling intense guilt. Raphael probably knew that he was privileged enough to get out fine. He hates his life, so if he's kicked out of it, that's not really a punishment, right? But you, you're a poor man who got lucky with a trading charter that came across your desk, and managed to build all of this-" she gestured to the glass windows behind her that had the view of the entire auditorium. "You have so much more to lose than he does."

     "I just wanted things to work out," Simon replied.

     "I know, Simon. We all did. Let's go downstairs," Clary encouraged. Simon nodded and the two of them walked down the staircase. 

     "Everything'sssss going to be okay, bossssss. You have usssssss," Izzy said, giving him a strong hug and a kiss on his cheek. Jace came over to Simon next.

     "I know we don't always see eye to eye, and I give you a lot of crap, but I'm happy to have you here, and I wish the Simon I knew could come back out of that boring, depressed shell." Jace embraced Simon with one arm, and patted his back in what Simon assumed was manly solidarity. 

     "Thank you, Jace. That was sweet up until the end," SImon replied.

     "I'm sorry for meddling," Maia said as she hugged Simon next.

     "Thank you for trying," Simon replied. "I'm glad to have you looking out for me."

     "You know, Simon, since we don't have an HR department, if you ever wanted to join Alec and I you-"

     "Stop right there," Alec and Simon said in unison. 

     "I am just trying to think of ways to put a smile on our Simon's face," Magnus replied.

     "It's the thought that counts, Magnus," Simon said awkwardly. Everything was happy, and everyone was smiling when a group of muscular men came into the room holding oil lamps. "Excuse me, gentlemen, you can't be-"

     "Are you the queer from the newspaper?" one of the men asked. Everyone got defensive, clenched their fists or grabbed something nearby to fight with.

     "I am Simon Lewis, and this is my circus, and we are closed," Simon replied sternly.

     "Mr. Santiago has a message for you," the man said. They all threw their lamps at nearby hay piles, rope stations, and curtains. All of the lamps exploded upon impact and immediately set he flammable objects ablaze. Jace leaped at them, and punched one of the men unconscious. Magnus and Alec grabbed a nearby rope and ran circles around a guy, entrapping him. They then pulled him down onto the ground and proceeded to kick him. Izzy ran to Clary and helped escort her out of the burning building. Maia pounced on one of the attackers and began to claw at his face.

     "Everyone get out of here, I'll look for the others!" Simon exclaimed.

     "You can't stay in here!" Magnus ordered.

     "I don't care," Simon responded before running deeper into the building.

 

 

     Raphael was walking downtown. His house had turned into a suffocating prison. He still hadn't spoken a word to his parents, even when they were all in the same room. He wondered if he had made the right decision. Simon was right, Raphael had been too wishy-washy, too unable to commit to a single decision. His life would be immensely better with Simon in it, but would Simon's be? 

     His train of thought was interrupted when a fire wagon appeared behind him, the unmistakable ringing of the brass bell on the front. He stepped out of the way to allow its passage.

     "Hurry, boys!" the fireman exclaimed. "It's coming from the circus!"

     Adrenaline immediately fueled Raphael's veins and he sprinted to the circus. He was foolish, thinking that not being with Simon would protect him. There was no point to that now, if Simon was alright, he would stay with him, no excuses, if Simon would still have him. It took him a while to reach the circus, and by then, the entire building was up in flames. He ran over to the circus cast waiting in the crowd. "Where is Simon?"

     "He went inside to grab more people, but we're all here!" Clary exclaimed, crying.

     Raphael dashed towards the burning building, the cast members yelling at him to stay behind, but he ignored their screams. The air was thick and heavy. If the humidity wasn't enough, the smoke was rich and difficult.

     "Simon!" Raphael exclaimed.

     "Over here!" he heard Simon choke out. Raphael ran, dodging fire and burning debris to grab Simon who was limping weakly. He grabbed Simon, coaxed his arm around him for support, and they dashed out of the building.

     "R-raphael?" Simon coughed out heavily. 

     The second they got outside, Raphael took a deep breath of clear air. The frigid cold hurt his overcooked lungs, and he fell down into the snow, dropping Simon. Medics grabbed the both of them and put them on cots.

     "H-how long was he in there?" Raphael asked.

     "A long time," Clary said with heavy tears. 

     "Simon?" Raphael asked. Simon couldn't respond. The medics put their cots onto a trolley and they were guided off to the closest hospital. "Simon, please come back to me," Raphael choked out, before passing out from exhaustion.

     

     Raphael woke up in a hospital bed. He looked around to see Clary and the rest of the cast members waiting by his bed. He turned on his side to see Simon, who was in a much worse condition. "Simon," Raphael said, immediately getting up. Clary quickly approached him and coaxed him back down.

     "You need to rest. You're not in very good shape," Clary said.

     "Is he awake?" Raphael asked.

     Clary tried to hold back the pained expression on her face. "He took a lot of fire and smoke while he was in there."

     "I need him to be okay," Raphael cried. "I need him to be okay. How did this happen?"

     "You don't know?" Alec asked blatantly. Magnus hit Alec in the stomach as Clary turned around to give him a scolding look.

     "I don't know what? Clary, what happened?" Raphael asked.

     She bit her lip, contemplating to tell Raphael the truth. "Your parents hired some thugs to burn it down."

     Raphael's stomach did flips, making him nauseous. He brought his hand to his mouth to keep it closed, while scrunching his face to fight the tears. "This is all my fault."

     "No, it's not, Raphael," Clary replied. "You're a victim in this too. I know you love Simon, I know you were trying to protect him from everything."

     "He doesn't deserve any of this," Raphael cried out.

     "No, he doesn't, but it happened because he loved us. He risked his life for us. Everything he's done has been for us. If it wasn't for you, Simon wouldn't even be here right now. He would have been dead. You saved his life, Raphael," Clary said. "Everything you've done has been for him."

     Raphael turned to look at Simon, who was still unconscious next to him. " _I saw the sun begin to dim, and felt that winter wind blow cold."_ He turned to look back at everyone else in the room who was standing there for him. " _A man learns who is there for him when the glitter fades and the walls won't hold. Cause from that rubble, what remains can only be what's true. If all was lost, there's more I gained-"_ Raphael turned to Simon and reached out for his still hand, holding it tightly. " _Cause it led me back to you. From now on, these eyes will not be blinded by some lies. From now on, the fears I've been afraid of leave tonight. They leave tonight. Let this promise in me start, let me love you with my heart. From now on. From now on."_

The nurses gave him a clear bill of health, and he and everyone else left the hospital. They headed down to the burnt remains of the circus, looking at the devastation that had occurred. 

     "What are we going to do?" Maia asked. "There's no way Simon's going to be able to rebuild."

     "This was our home," Jace said. "The only place we felt safe or accepted."

     "I can't go back to my old life," Izzy replied.

     "We don't have to," Raphael said. Everyone turned to look at him in confusion. "When I first kissed Simon, I was so in love, I knew something would happen with that boy that would make my parents take away all of my money. So I took it to a new bank." Everyone's jaws dropped at Raphael's revelation. "Simon was hiring me for my marketing techniques. Well, here's my technique: plays travel. They go on tours. Every major city gets the equal opportunity to see it. A giant building like this is a waste. Attendance falls because everyone's already seen us. We travel by train, we get a massive tent, we rent stadium seating from sporting events. We travel and we set up in city to city!"

     Everyone began to smile and cheer. "Is that something we can really pull off?" Maia asked.

     "If we all work together, of course!" Raphael exclaimed. Everyone cheered and clapped, and Raphael began stomping a beat on a wooden board that was still intact. " _I drank champagne with kings and queens, the politicians praised my name. But those were someone else's dreams, the pitfalls of the man I've always been. For years and years, I lived with my fears, and never allowed myself to pursue more."_

Raphael sang and smiled down the street when he saw Jocelyn approach with Simon awake, and in a wheelchair. Raphael beamed with pride and everyone exclaimed at the sight of him. " _But when I stop and see you here, I remember who all this was for!"_ Raphael ran over to Simon, and sunk to his knees. He wrapped his arms around him and rested his head on Simon's chest. Simon smiled and returned the hug. Raphael leaned back to look into Simon's eyes. " _From now on, my eyes will not be blinded by some lies. From now on, the fears I've been afraid of leave tonight. They leave tonight! Let this promise in me start, let me love you with my heart. From now on, from now on!"_

_"From now on!"_ everybody else sang, stomping and dancing on the wood. " _And we will come back home! And we will come back home! Home again!"_

_"_ I will always come home to you, Simon. I'm not losing you again," Raphael said.

     "Promise?" Simon asked.

     Raphael cupped Simon's face and pulled him in for a deep, long kiss before he finally separated. "How's that for a promise?"

     "That's a start," Simon teased. Raphael's eyebrows shot up, and a cocky grin emerged.

     "A start? Well, let's start now." Raphael kissed Simon again as everybody cheered and danced.

 

 

     " _This is the greatest show!"_ Simon sang a month later, under the world's largest tarp. Raphael's plan to travel was a huge success. It was opening night of their first city, and they would be there for multiple, just to make sure everyone who wants to see them gets the chance. Magnus and Alec continued to flip through the air, Izzy continued to coax and seduce volunteers into playing with a giant python, and Maia and Jace continued to amaze the crowd with their appearances.

     "I would like everyone to give a warm round of applause to the man who made all of this possible, my wonderful boyfriend, Raphael Santiago!" Simon announced. The audience cheered as Raphael ran out on stage with an identical red showman suit as Simon. He bowed to the crowd as they threw roses and other flowers before he hugged Simon and kissed him in front of everybody, much to their approval.

     "I love you, Simon Lewis," Raphael said.

     "I love you, too," Simon replied before smiling and walking away from Raphael.

     "We're not the only couple here today. I also want to give a big shout out to out to our acrobats, Magnus and Alec!" Simon exclaimed.

     Magnus and Alec came on stage and the audience cheered for them. They bowed as well and smiled.

     "Thank you, everyone," Magnus said. "Alec and I have been doing these stunts for a long time together. We pull it off because we are always in sync, and we trust each other more than anything in the world. There is nothing I love more than having Alec as a partner for our performances, and in life." Alec looked caught off guard and confused by Magnus's random speech, but he continued to smile for the audience. "Alec made a comment not too long ago, and I decided it was a good idea." 

     Magnus got down on one knee and Alec's eyes widened. Magnus reached into his pocket and pulled out a silver ring. The audience cheered loudly while Simon and Raphael stood next to each other, applauding their friends. "Alec Lightwood, will you marry me?"

     Alec blushed and tried to cover his face with his hands, visibly nodding enthusiastically. Magnus slipped the ring on Alec's finger, and the two kissed.

     "Is everyday with you going to be this magical?" Raphael asked.

     "I hope so," Simon replied, looking at Raphael lovingly.

     Raphael smiled. "Good, because that is exactly what I signed up for."

-Fin-

    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the quality of the last two chapters, I just really wanted to finish this project! Reminder that I do not own the lyrics or music of any of the original songs of the musical. Some lines have been changed in minor or major ways to suit what I needed/wanted for this specific plot. I recommend everyone to see the movie! Leave a comment for me telling me what you thought!


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